Innominate

The Chemist

2011-12-05T18:43:00.001-07:00

As of today, I am no longer an unskilled laborer, but a chemist. I now perform tests on body fluids, looking for drugs, or at least I will once training is done. Last night was my last night at the airline, throwing bags and pushing planes. It was 12 degrees when I left, and it was snowing, not just cold. Today, I started my new job, which for a change was mentally taxing, not physically. I'm sure part of the stress is just the result of working a late night at one job, and then starting a new one in the morning, but the vast majority is trying to take so much in at once. I have a new building, new faces, new names (names are always hard), and the procedures we do are fairly complicated, although anything is going to seem complicated by comparision to the old job. I think I got a fair amount down for the first day. I'm familiar with most of the machines we use, even if it will take me a little while to get the programs down well, and I have the basic procedure down, although it does vary depending on the drug we're looking for and the fluid we're looking in, and there are plenty of specifics I just don't have down well enough yet. Still, within a couple of weeks, I ought to be a contributing member of the group, rather than a drag on those who know what they're doing, and they say in about a month I'll likely be apart from the group I trained with, doing it all on the third shift (graves).

Bandit

2011-09-05T09:37:00.004-06:00

We've got a dog again. It's maybe a little sooner than I would have gone for, but MJ has been missing her dog for a good year now. I think it's been significantly tougher on her than it has been on me. He's six months old, so still has some puppy hyperness, and he's a big dog, an american bulldog mix. We got the brand of food that he was used to, and are working on switching him off of it to something less expensive and less foul smelling. His previous owner had him on one of those specialty brands that they try to oversell you at the pet store.

MJ's totally in love with him already. The kids are less sure. Chien-Po's pretty much good, just gets knocked over a bit. Bandit reminds me a lot of my sister's dog, Duke. He's just all muscle and so excited. The previous owner had a one year old and a three year old, and they all got along well. Dash, is significantly more concerned. He tells me that when he's older he'll like Bandit, but he seems to be more of a cat person.

Aside from that, our dog seems to be getting used to our house, and vice-versa. He's learning which toys are not his (most of them), and picking up basic sit, stay commands. We've also noticed a few allergy issues among myself and the boys. We didn't have any problems with Penny, who was also a short haired, frequently shedding dog, but it's been a while. I've had itchy eyes and the boys have had excessively runny noses. We're hoping that will clear up in a little while as we get used to having a dog around again.

Fire Fire Fire

2011-09-01T23:29:00.003-06:00

Well, the smoke detectors work. Not for detecting smoke necessarily, although I hope they're good at that too. The one in our bedroom decided it would start detecting air. seems we have air. The wiring that connects all the alarms together so that they all go off at once leaving us puzzled as to where the imaginary fire is coming from and how to shut the whole mess off works well too. Also, they are sufficiently loud to wake any occupants and/or send them fleeing from the building. Good times.

In other news, I've retaken my MCAT by now. I still have about three weeks before I'll know how I did. I'm hoping for better. I got a 31 last time, and on my practice tests this time around I managed a 38 and a 40, as well as a 32. While I suppose 32 is technically an improvement, I'm still hoping for something at least a little closer to 45.

I'm also looking for better work. MJ is a little stressed with work and all lately, and I can't blame her. They've got some changes going on that affect her department pretty significantly. I'd like to carry the full weight of bringing home the bacon, but that's just not going to happen with my current job. Among the various lab jobs I have been applying to, I've also started applying for emergency dispatch. It's not as related to my recent education as some of the other jobs I've applied for, but I was trained as an EMT at one point, have family in law enforcement, and I think, have a generally level temperament, polite but able to be forceful when needed. Also, as I found out today, the county I'm currently testing with offers a part-time, hourly position requiring at least 20 hours a month. There's a commitment I think I could keep up with even while in medical school.

So, that's my excuse for not getting around to blogging for a while. More than enough going on to keep me busy, but nothing big enough that I absolutely had to post about it. Maybe now that I'm not so busy studying for the test I'll actually post a few more things.

Happy New Year!

2010-12-21T03:46:00.006-07:00

I know it's still 2010, but who am I kidding if I think I'll post anything else between now and 2011. I'm generally pretty busy lately, between the hours at work (Sunday I worked 15 hours, 19 minutes) and the two growing boys. If it weren't for a case of redbull induced insomnia (brought on by a single redbull this morning, and a coke tonight, I'm a lightweight sometimes), I wouldn't have time for this.

There's a lot that has gone on this past year which I haven't posted about, and most of it's been good. We've moved out on our own for the first time in our married lives. Finances take on a different tone whenever you're providing your whole livelihood, but "awesome" is not a big enough word to describe what it's like to have your own space for your family, so the added stress is worth it. Adding to the stress, my mother in law has to return to her former position at work, which means that she will not be working from home anymore. She has been good enough to watch our kids for us while we've been at work, and as she will no longer be able to do that, we've had ample opportunity to reconsider our current career choices, to see if MJ can get more flexibility in her schedule so we can do with less babysitting. It's likely that she'll be switching to part-time at the airport, and resuming her career as a massage therapist. That should give her greater flexibility, more pay for fewer hours, and get her back to doing something she's loved. We're still looking into it, seeing if it's as feasible as we hope, but it looks good so far.

I've had my first interview for medical school. It's the one I really want to get into, too. Acceptance would mean I can stay around here for the next four years, and from everything I hear or read, they've got a really good program, amazing equipment and facilities, good partnerships with a number of local hospitals, and a reputation for having a good, cooperative, uplifting student body. I felt pretty good about the interview day, and I loved the campus, but I know that for any applicant the statistics are against you. For the 2012 graduating class, 1132 applicants were invited to interview, and of those, 270 were offered acceptance. Many of them must have had more than one acceptance because only 156 took the offer. I'm more interested in the 270, since I just need to get as far as the offer, but that's still only about the top quarter of applicants who looked good enough to interview, that are accepted. I have never had any difficulty keeping in the top quarter academically, but this isn't the usual competition. I've heard that some people find out that they are accepted within a matter of weeks, but I believe the normal thing is to hear in mid to late March which of three categories you fall in. One is most likely accepted, the second you may have good chances especially if you rank towards the top, and the other, you just hope you have some eggs in another basket somewhere, because this one's not going to work for you. I have a few other eggs, but although I know I'll love wherever I go, I've got my sights set here.

In lighter news, the trip to DisneyWorld went very well. Much of that is already on my wife's blog, but there are a couple of things that she left for me. First, in Florida, they call a speed bump a hump. We had a few giggles on that one. That's right. We're mature like that. The other, is that Taco Bell officially has the worst toys in their kid's meals. First, here's the top view of the box it came in.

The text on the bottom of the box read, "Careful when opening, the box is part of the toy." I like to picture some executive in CrapToys, sitting at a desk and thinking to himself about how you can get a kid a toy, and he'll just play with the box. And then he thinks, "Eureka, I've got the perfect toy!" That's right, when you've got to save the box to play with, you know the toy inside's going to be good. And here it is.

We call it BoxHead, and it served the purposes of entertaining him in the car, for all of a minute or so. We're not sure what you're really supposed to do with it. The head, being a cardboard box, is a little fragile, and the desk is practically broken as soon as you put it together. It also came with a sticker sheet, although stickers don't really adhere to the box, or the desk thing, or the plastic body. Maybe it's the stickers that sucked, but if you really have to draw that line, try to figure out which part of the toy sucks more, the whole toy is crap.

Good trip though. We got to swim in the ocean and watch the sun rise while swimming in the ocean. We got to take the kids to Disney while they're still young enough to be free, and we got pictures to prove it to them later. Good times.

So that's 2010 thus far for me. looking forward for a couple more things before the year's up, the first Christmas on our own, and for anyone who's not up on current astronomical events (which included me until Sunday), today is Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year and the longest night, and about midnight, the full moon will be blotted out by the Earth's shadow. Sort of poetic and all. The last time a lunar eclipse coincided with winter solstice was 1638, so that's fun. I've been a little bit of an astronomy nut since taking a physics lab where the instructor gave a couple points of extra credit for anyone who went to this after school event by the astronomy club, and signed a sheet to show that we were there. The sheet actually signed us up for the astronomy club, so I got a few emails from them for future events, and I have since seen Jupiter and a couple of its moons, seen mercury cross in front of the sun (using a hydrogen alpha filter on the telescope of course), and sort of saw the eclipse in February 2008, but it was a bit cloudy. I'll likely be up at the in-laws, where there are no city lights, to see this one, so hope for clear skies.

Update: Scratch that eclipse thing. Apparently that was last night. Things I read said it was on the 21st, but I think they're just stretching to make the solstice thing fit. I go on today, and notice things are saying, "depending on where you live the eclipse will be either late on the 20th, or early morning on the 21st." Awesome. There's always the one on June 15th next year, if you're in eastern Africa, the Middle East, or India, and the one on December 10th, which should be going on here just before sunrise.

2010-11-06T05:15:00.002-06:00

So, I know I don't blog much these days (or ever), but this one is too good to not share.

Hacked Games Super Mario Bros - Watch more Funny Videos
You have to love the internet.

Want to play it?

Quality if not Quantity

2010-08-07T14:28:00.003-06:00

I know I don't post all that often lately, but I just realized how little. I was collecting a few blog posts for I Write Like, and found one at the bottom of the front page from August 16th 2009. In nine days this post would have been exactly one year older than the one at the bottom of the page. I feel bad, but at least you are all getting quality if not quantity. It seems I write like Dan Brown, David Foster Wallace, Dan Brown, and Edgar Allan Poe in the posts Atheist, Haitian Orphans, Freakshow, and Skepticism respectively. I'm not actually familiar with David Foster Wallace, but I hear he writes like Dan Brown and Edgar Allan Poe, and he's got three names (each of which could feasibly be a first or last name), so he's got to be good.

There have been a few things going on. I have a job. It's not anything with chemistry, or a lab, or anything that's good for medical experience, but they do pay money, which I'm going to need if we want to get our own place any time soon. I just need to learn a list of airport/airline codes and acronyms. I'll be working on the ramp at the airport throwing bags. It should be a decent job for the next year during the application process, and MJ should be able to go to part time once I start bringing in the insurance.

The dog has been ill too. Penny's staying up at the in-laws where they are better equipped to let her run around the house and put her out in the yard after her twice daily treatment. My mother in law is great for helping us out with this. Penny has developed a swollen fluid filled cyst on her neck, for which she has been taken to the vet twice to have drained (this is not counting the time Penny scratched it open and it bled out on the deck right in front of my brother in law), and once to have it opened up properly so we can wash it out with a syringe full of betadine twice daily. We need to reopen the incision with the tip of the syringe, and irrigate. I've done it twice, once with MJ and the other with my MIL, who has been good enough to take it on so I don't need to choose between making the 40 minute round trip twice a day, or just living up at her place.

Also, I've got my application for medical school submitted now. I've got five letters from five professors, I have what I hope are good MCAT scores (although I won't really know for ten more days when they release them), and I've got the whole Summa Cum Laude 3.93 GPA (although AMCAS figures GPA differently, so it may be a little different). I've think I've talked up my personal experience section enough, but I'm relying more on my academic record and hopefully MCAT scores a little more than the previous experience. The five lucky schools I've applied to are University of Colorado, University of Utah, Stanford, Yale, and Albert Einstein College of Medicine. I've also been looking into the Caribbean schools, always popular as a backup, but it's a little tougher to tell what's good.

So, that's about all that's big going on, that and the boys seem to be waking up from their naps, so I'd better go anyway. By the way, this post is also a Dan Brown.

Mugget

2010-07-08T17:30:00.001-06:00

So, the other day I was asking Jack-Jack what various animals said, like you do, and we got to the chicken. I asked what the chicken says and he says "Mugget" (which means nugget if you didn't catch that). Good times.

Creepy and Good

2010-06-22T02:23:00.001-06:00

Amid studying for the MCAT, sending reminders and requested information to professors for letters of recommendation, and working on my resume and job search, I came across this oddity online.

http://johnkenn.blogspot.com/

The guy makes drawings on post it notes, some of which are pretty creepy, but all of which have a nice style.

By the way, Father's Day was awesome. Nothing really beats spending a day out with the family, followed an evening with the wife after the kids have been put to bed. It was a welcome break from the tension of trying to get one's life organized and moving forward.

Spamalot

2010-03-09T00:05:00.003-07:00

Hate to do it, but I've had to delete a couple of spam comments now, so I'm going to have to put up the word verification. I suppose this will make my wife happy. She likes to try to pronounce the things, and gets just a bit too excited when they sound like a word. You all may have noticed that she sometimes includes the word verification word in her comment, but you should see it on this side of the internet. I don't remember the last time she's left a comment while I'm around, and not told me what the word is. I have decided to find it cute.

Not that I blog too often or anything. This has been a busy semester, and this will be a busy week. Seems when they hit, they hit. The checklist includes the following:

X Midterm Lab Practical for Biology Lab
X C. Fern Lab Report for Biology Lab
_ Glycolysis Test, Part II for Biochem
_ Carboxylic Acid Test Part I for Ochem
_ Carboxylic Acid Test Part II for Ochem (He's been doing 2 tests per week)
_ Plantae Test for Biology
_ Experimental portion of lab writeup for Ochem Lab
_ Book Review for Nuclear Dilemmas
X Radical Evil Reading for Philosophy Sr. Seminar

Yeah, it will be a fun week. Three down, four more for the week, and two more as soon as I can manage. Also, MJ's going back to work tomorrow. I don't know how we'd manage without MJ's mother and sister helping with the kids, but that doesn't mean things will be easy. There is a total of one day a week we'll have off together, so unless it's Sunday, I'll either be at school or watching the kids. It might be tough to find time for the next round of busy when it hits.

Atheist

2010-02-15T23:30:00.002-07:00

I got into a nice little discussion with a guy in my biology lab. He knows I'm a pre-med student, and I'm big on science and all, and wanted to know if I believed in God. Turns out he's an Atheist himself, and didn't understand how someone can balance reason and science with faith and religion. I told him that from a truly scientific standpoint (a.k.a. skepticism), one can only go as far as agnosticism, and that Atheists assume too much.

As I see it, Atheism is just another religion. There is no evidence proving or disproving the existence of any god, so all religions take an irrational stance when they claim anything about theirs, or lack thereof (even Occam's razor is a matter of probability, not certainty, if you wanted to go there).

As I've said here before, I'm at peace with this. There are so many assumptions we take for granted every day, like the nature of cause and effect, concepts of good and evil, even the existence of things seen and unseen which are alleged to make the world work as it does (just think of the four fundamental forces). Logic, it seems, can tell you things about the world only after a set of initial assumptions, albeit some come more naturally than others.

Anyway, it turns out that he can admit he has no proof against God, as I have no proof of God, and that we accept our beliefs more on faith than anything else. For his part, he says he never really got into the fire and brimstone he heard from everyone around him (growing up in the bible belt), and didn't want to accept a religion he couldn't honestly believe in. It was, I think, the best explanation I've heard from any Atheist. It's a whole lot better that the tired old, "why is there suffering in the world," bit.

Haitian Orphans

2010-02-03T11:21:00.002-07:00

It's always sad when things that should matter all the time, only matter because of a current trend, like being nice because of the Christmas spirit. The post 9/11 patriotic surge (which had no small part in the patriot act) was one such event. the tragedy in Haiti is another.

My current philosophy professor said yesterday that he was watching Larry King Live (he claims this is not a common occurrence), and they had rich people who wanted to adopt Haitian orphans. The representative from the adoption agency said they had no more Haitian orphans, but would gladly accept support for other orphans, I don't recall if they were from Somalia, or Mumbai, or what, but the rich lady responded, "No, I want to help someone who really needs it," as if no other orphan could need help as badly.

The professor said, and he seems right, that it seems more like she'd just be embarrassed if all her friends had Haitian orphans, and hers was from the Dominican Republic, or even FROM THE UNITED STATES! One of the other students coined the term "Knockoff Haitian" which accurately describes the phenomenon.

Now, I wouldn't knock any sincere effort to help those less fortunate, but as the adoption agency said, first, there are many other children in dire need of help in the world, and second, adoption is not a spur of the moment decision based on a current trend, but something that should be planned for.

And I thought it was bad when parents got their kids pet bunnies for Easter.

Freakshow

2010-02-03T11:13:00.002-07:00

In case anyone is concerned with the well-being of the silver man, I have an update. I mentioned a tall thin man, dressed in a silver bodysuit, with a white painted face (black around the eyes), and huge black boots in my philosophy class. For the first time in a while, someone knew exactly who I was talking about. This guy has seen him downtown, and it seems silver man has a silver girlfriend. I suspect now, more than ever, that they are from the future. Perhaps T-Bone (one of the bike messengers around here) finally got his KIBX (his time machine) working, and these two are the result. That would explain why silver man was hanging out at the physics department. Of course, they might be stranded, and just trying to help T-Bone get the KIBX up and running. I'll let you all know as I find out more.

Side note, the short chubby guy who stands on the corner singing and doing what looks like a blend of sign language and choreography (although I know neither language and am an unfit judge) is doing well. He's currently performing a particularly untouching rendition of Michael Jackson's Heal the World.

Pearls of Wisdom

2010-01-26T15:41:00.002-07:00

You'd think that with blogging as rarely as I do, I must be waiting for the perfect things to write about. Nope, I'm just lazy.

Today I noticed subtitles during a song on MTV-U at school. Most often the caption just said "Music" as the song was between lyrics. I go to thinking, not that they can't, but why would a deaf person care to watch MTV? Then I figured maybe it's a sign about how little music is on MTV anymore. Maybe they like watching the other programming. Then MTV News came on, with no subtitles. Brilliant.

Skepticism

2009-11-30T01:01:00.001-07:00

In my ancient philosophy class a few weeks ago, the guy who sits behind me was complaining about how Socrates questions everyone, but never really provides anything of his own. He wasn't so much complaining that Socrates doesn't enlighten us, as Socrates claims to know very little himself. He seemed to be annoyed with the skeptic outlook one might get from questioning everything. I was just wondering, at what point is it okay for this guy to accept lies, just so he can believe in something. The contradictions Socrates points at in people's belief systems were there before he showed them, they were just overlooked. I came across a quote just now on neurologicablog which I think sums up Socrates' attitude on this fairly well.

For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.

- Carl Sagan

Sagan was, I'm sure, talking about science, where Socrates is more interested in ethical matters, the nature of virtue and all, but the principle still holds. It's interesting majoring in chemistry, and minoring in philosophy. There is a link between the two, or more generally between science and philosophy, as both look for answers about how the world really is, beyond superficial appearances. That physics (all physical science, including chemistry and biology) was once a branch of philosophy (hence the PhD in Chemistry, Biology, Physics) is more and more evident after studying both for a while.

In philosophy, even more than hard science, it seems that there are a lot of questions without answers, maybe because there are no tests which can be derived to test many philosophical theories, just logical inquiry. I think it's interesting though, how many things in hard science that we take as known are just as unknown, and as science moves along, yesterdays facts and truths become laughable. Very few people still believe the world is flat. Atomic models have gone through a number of vast overhauls as the previous model was found to be flawed. Newtonian physics have given way to quantum mechanics. The more we know, the more we realize how much more there is we don't know. Socrates' skepticism seems more validated as he says he is the wisest only because he knows that he knows nothing.

In a related thread, I came across one of those tables during a campus fair with a few students pushing their particular views. This one was a group pushing secular humanitarianism. They believed that God was not necessary as a base for ethics, in fact that there was no God, and that acting for the greatest good of humanity was a natural logical outcome of ethical inquiry. They also thought they were skeptics.

I was interested in them at first, as secular humanitarianism sounds like a good thing. When I started studying philosophy I was hoping to find a logical base for ethics, rather than a religious one. I have no problem with religion. I just thought it would be good to have a base to argue from with others who don't share my faith, or maybe at times to reason through something myself when my own faith is lacking. This is not what they were offering here. They were yet another group of atheists, pretending that a lack of proof of God is the same as proof of a lack of God. If you wanted in on their group, you didn't just need a secular belief in humanitarianism, but an atheist one.

So, there were two counts where they failed to be skeptic. First skepticism does not lead to atheism, but agnosticism, the belief that one can not have knowledge proving or disproving the existence of God. I'm alright with this as I believe (not know) that there is a God, and that he remains voluntarily unproven as there is no faith where there is knowledge (rather than remaining unproven because he is not real). Second, skepticism does not lead to any ethical stance. I was initially depressed to find this, but any ethical theory I have heard of studied so far begins with an assumption. That it is good (ethically) to act for the benefit of others, is an assumption. That pleasure is good (ethically), is an assumption. I find comfort anymore in the idea that the knowledge of good and evil can not be determined empirically. Any ethical system, like a physical (scientific) system, is an imperfect model based on perception reality, reality is never based on the model.

I think the comfort of skepticism comes when you take it as absolute, and understand that as you don't really know anything. Further, you know that no one else knows anything either. This humility relieves you of the burden of knowing reality even as you keep searching to.

2009-08-17T19:17:00.003-06:00

I just had an interesting text conversation with someone I don't know. Interesting because she seemed just a bit slow. Had to put it up here.

NL: Hey its natalie long i just have a question

Me: What's that? And who are you?

NL: Natalie tays friend

Me: I don't think I know a tay. This is Michael, is that who you're trying to reach?

NL: No isnt this misha

Me: Nope.

NL: Oh sorry

Me: No problem.

NL: Wait do you know mischa and who is this

Me: This is michael, and misha who? I know a misha.

NL: Vicknair

Me: Nope. Don't know them.

NL: Sure cause taylor says its you

Me: Nope. Don't think I know Taylor either.

NL: Uh k

NL: you just texted taylor lol and said your not texting me

Me: I didn't text Taylor. I don't know Taylor. You want to just ask your question?

NL: Yeah what school do you go to and whats your last name

Me: If you don't know, I'm not telling.

NL: Fine bye

Like I said, don't know her. I would have been a bit more terse with her, but MJ and I were having a good laugh at her expense, and hey, free texting.

Hear the word of the gods, don't forget it...

2009-08-16T01:51:00.003-06:00

I found this code generator for The Battle of Olympus at http://pages.physics.cornell.edu/~shicks/bolympus.html. It doesn't work so well in internet explorer, but it works in firefox. The codes for this game were always a pain to copy down. I've been playing on an emulator recently, so it's not really an issue as I can save by hitting a button, but if anyone (Frik) plans to play this game on the console at any time, and you mis-copy the word of the gods, just go to the site, check the boxes for what you've done already (be honest) and copy down the word.

Mood Fixer

2009-06-16T00:01:00.002-06:00

I find myself busy with a lot of uninteresting things, so I haven't been blogging much it seems. My last post is getting a bit stale, so time for this.

I was in a sort of bad mood, browsing through my emails and blogs, and I came across this gem on within the crainium (intentionally spelled that way).

Can't be in a bad mood now.

Poohstein

2009-04-20T12:31:00.002-06:00

I don't know who comes up with these ideas. I like it though.

I'm at school, just before my last class. It's the lab for analytical chem, which I would be done with by now, but the results I got from this latest experiment were not close enough to the actual value, so instead of getting out by quarter after eleven, I'm done at four fifty. It took me three weeks to get everything done last time, but I'm hoping to get it all done between this week and the next. We'll see how that goes. On the bright side, I had a minute between my last class and lab, to check blogs and internets after getting lunch and going over some stuff for lab. I could have missed out on Poohstein.

Knowlege of Good and Evil

2009-04-01T13:11:00.004-06:00

So, I've been studying ethics for almost two years now, and it makes you think.

First though, as the ethics bit is going to be a little long, two things:

1. I saw an SUV today with "I love my wife" written on the back and rear side windows. My first thought was that it was really sweet. My second, was that I wondered if he's just trying to get out of trouble, and what he might be in trouble for.

2. Too bad about heaven's defense going down. I understand, and I'm hardly one to criticize anyone's blogging, but it was always an interesting read. If you're still reading other's blogs, Berserk, you should know my mother-in-law is going to miss yours.

Anyway, ethics. For anyone who doesn't know, I'm planning on going to medical school after I finish my BA. My major is chemistry, and I'm minoring in philosophy. I have I have about a year left for my degree, including two more classes before I'm done with my minor, and with the exception of Language Logic and Persuasion, all my philosophy classes have been largely about what is good, what does it mean to live a good life, and how can we judge between right and wrong. This semester, I'm taking Ethical Theories, which is no exception. There are a lot of ideas of a lot of famous dead guys about the good, but although some claim to, no one really seems to answer the question, "what is good?"

We don't go over them much, except a quick mention, but there are ideas that good is not real, but just more of a loose code that helps populations function as a coherent society, or that good is just something that those in power use to keep those under them in line. In reality there is no such thing as right or wrong. I can't really get behind any of those lines of thought. I don't have a solid reason, but it seems wrong. I would like to believe that good exists. Even allowing that assumption though (and I'm not sure why an assumption should be allowed), it's not clear what good is.

Some theories are subjectivist. Good is subject to the beliefs of the majority, or to individual preference. You would say that murder is wrong because the majority believes it's wrong, or that taking care of one's children is good because you feel good when you do it. The problem with subjectivism is that by definition it is subject to the group or individual. What is good can vary from group to group, individual to individual, or moment to moment. If good is subjective, then really there is no good. There are only preferences.

An interesting division of subjectivism is religious subjectivism where good is subject to the will of the divine, and good and evil are defined by the decrees of divinity. As a religious man I can appreciate the idea that God gives directions or commands which it is right to follow, but I can't get behind the subjectivist idea that good can be defined as what is loved by God. In Plato's Euthyphro, when confronted with the theory that what is good is what is loved by the gods, Socrates asks whether it is good because it is loved by the gods, or it is loved by the gods because it is good. The answer Plato leads to, which I agree with is that the good must exist independently, and logically prior to God's love of it.

So, if the good exists, and is not subjective, it must be something objective, and real, although possibly abstract or indefinable. Objectivists though can only seem to dance around this "good" thing, without really saying what it is. In Principia Ethica, G. E. Moore said, "Good is good, and that is the end of the matter," before going on for a whole book attempting to explain what good was. In Plato's Republic, Socrates says that it is impossible to explain what good is, but he makes an interesting comparison between good and the sun, where as the sun (or light) is the source of sight, but it is not the eye or the object being seen, good is the source of understanding although it is not the mind, or the thing that is understood (try to explain what something is without explaining what it is good for). Also, as the sun is evident to everyone yet cannot be looked at directly, goodness is evident to everyone, yet cannot be directly examined.

Socrates believed that everyone was motivated by a desire to do good (which is not the same as saying that good can be defined by desire). People who did wrong just had a misunderstanding of what was good, or a poor judgement between which of two goods was greater. Socrates didn't believe that evil existed so much as things that were less good existed, similar to the physical concept that darkness and cold do not exist, just less light or less heat.

Of course, while these ideas are interesting, they don't do much to answer questions about what actions are right or wrong.

So, the reason I'm putting all this into such a long post, is that I'm curious what any of you think about this. Is good something that is real? Is there any way to tell what is right and wrong? Is it a waste of time to even try to figure any of this out?

Ever want to beat someone?

2009-02-19T18:30:00.001-07:00

Just a quick one here. I saw a guy at school today with a shirt that just made me want to beat the crap out of him. On the back was a picture of a stick-man dropping a star of david in a wastebasket, and the caption said, "Keep Palestine Clean." I may not be Jewish or anything, but I'd like to kick the guy in the nuts anyway.

Dr. Phil?

2009-02-14T09:58:00.002-07:00

So I was reading over one of those fun surveys that makes its way around emails/blogs/phones. I don't fill them out except under extreme circumstances, and I generally don't read more than the first couple of lines. This one was my wife's, so I at least skimmed the whole thing. I have to say it worries me just a little that the person she would most like to meet is Dr. Phil, and that she would be on the show if she had something good enough. Eww. I'm comfortable enough to sit and watch most episodes of Phil (Not Oprah, Wudan, that's all you), but being on the show, no way. So, MJ, don't get your hopes too high.

This semester's going pretty well. Calculus was a bit rough starting off. There's just so much math from other classes that I either took too long ago, or tested out of, so it's taking a bit to get back into things. It's going alright now. Chemistry and Ethics are just a bit on the challenging side, which is good. Biology on the other hand, is entirely to elementary. After the third week I thought it was picking up, as we were talking about various proteins involved in intracellular structure. Then it went back to old old review material about phospholipid cell membranes. I've gone over most of the stuff we talk about in biology in four previous classes. The worst was yet another explanation about the periodic table of elements, and electron configuration. I'm sure we'll get to some new stuff in a bit, but wow.

Everything else is going pretty well though. My son has a fourth tooth, so two up and two down now. And, I'm looking forward to Valentines Day tonight. MJ and I have been doing a nice steak dinner at home since the Valentines Day before we were married, and Its much nicer than heading out to some restaurant (however nice) and putting up with a three hour wait (if not just a bit longer), like I've done in the past. Hope everyone else has a good holiday too.

Climbing Again

2009-01-13T09:55:00.002-07:00

MJ and I have been hitting the climbing gym a little more lately. It's been good to get back into it a bit, but I've got a little way to go to be back where I was. I can climb 5.8 reliably already, but nothing more than that. I used to be able to do a 5.9 no problem. Last night we did a little in the bouldering cave too. I got part way up a couple of problems, but not to the end before my arm was just too tight to move. I walked around for a while afterward doing that whole hook/claw hand thing until I could work the muscle loose a little bit. MJ is pretty good at helping out with that though with her massage background. Anyway, climbing is one hobby I'd recommend to just about anyone. If any of you want to try it and need a quick lesson on the ropes and techniques, I'd be glad to help you out (Of course if you want all kinds of advanced stuff maybe you just go talk to Sarah instead).

By the way, Berserk, I came across an interesting case from New York. I bet this is one arrest you've never had to make.

Suddenly I don't look like such a jerk for blowing off so many sales pitches and being so skeptical about other people.

Small Lesson

2009-01-05T23:57:00.002-07:00

Did you know a spider can live underwater, clinging to the side of a glass for the time it takes to drink a large glass of water, and then crawl off of your finger after you find what you thought was a dead bug stuck on the inside of the glass and wipe it off? I know that now.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-05T21:12:00.002-07:00

Okay, happy January 5th!

New Year's eve was good. I spent it walking around on a frozen lake looking for hurt people. We actually found two this time that I got to work with closely. In a year of working with the venturing crew, this is two more than I've ever been able to help. It's usually a bit slow. More importantly, I met a guy from crew who doesn't normally go to anything. He does some hiring for an ambulance company. It's all volunteer, except for their paramedics, but it should be good experience. I should be able to get some good training, and experience along the lines of a couple calls a night. They should be pretty good calls, as they work along a section of I-70, and do some mountain rescues. It's a little far of a drive to get there, but it should be worth it, and I should be able to keep up with it once school starts as well.

So, speaking of mountain rescues, here's a guy who should be needing one before his next birthday.

Scariest Hiking Trail In The World - Watch more Free Videos

If you watched that whole thing without at some point thinking this guy's crazy, or feeling something flipping in your gut as he aimed the camera down, you may need some professional help. Nice video though.

Festive

2008-12-22T22:52:00.002-07:00

Things get going about 50 seconds in. I had to listen to it a few times to get that it was Jingle Bells, even expecting Jingle Bells.

So, MJ and I got the Christmas shopping done today. We didn't get too much for anyone this year, but we didn't get started early enough, and it seems we're a bit slow, so we're just finishing up now. We also went out to Carrabas for dinner since her mother gave us a gift card (technically for Outback, but it works at Carrabas) and we won't be getting another good chance like this for a date this week. It was a good evening.

We skipped out on what also sounds like a good evening with the Venturing Crew. They had a progressive dinner christmas party, and a couple of the girls brought presents for Jack-Jack. They really like him there, but who couldn't. Actually one guy up at crew with a stick up his ass doesn't. I don't know how he got through his own kids, but he sure isn't tolerant of noises from others. Happy noises even. Who gets pissy at a baby chattering on about whatever babies chatter on about? He even pointed out one time that if this were a movie theater we'd be asked to leave. I was quick to point out that I am very fortunate that it's not. Aside from this dill hole though, everyone seems to enjoy having the few babies around each week.

It's been a while since I've made it up there though. We've had a sick baby one week, a sick baby and a sick daddy the next, and now this party thing. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone for the New Year's event we run first aid for. I'm also looking forward to the next semester of school. I've got some good classes. I'm taking Ethical Theories, Biology, Analytical Chemistry, and Calculus, along with the associated labs for Bio and Chem, but that's a little ways out, so I should really be patient and enjoy the holidays and the break.

We've got Christmas Eve at my in-laws (sorry we won't make it over Berserk, hope you all have fun). They've been doing steak and shrimp for Christmas Eve for years now, but last year I grilled both of them. It was a massive improvement from the pan fried steak and oven baked shrimp the year before if you ask me, and I believe I'm doing that again. For Christmas Day here, we'll be doing a turkey and a ham, sadly neither with a deep fryer, but it should be some pretty good stuff. I didn't do Thanksgiving here this year, so I'm looking forward to it. I think I'd like to get some poppers made up again. If I do, I should be able to get some up to Berserk and his family this time.

The Poppers

2008-12-04T00:33:00.002-07:00

Here it is:

4 large jalapeno peppers (or 8 habaneros)
1/4 lb cream cheese
2 eggs
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vegetable oil
2/3 cup self rising flour (I used all purpose, I don't know the difference)
1/8 teaspoon garlic
Dash Paprika
Dash onion powder
1/2 cup cornflake crumbs (I used bread crumbs)

Cut the stems off of the peppers and cut them in half. Remove the seeds and membranes. Put the peppers in boiling water for 10-15 minutes, drain them, cool them, and blot them dry. If the insides are not dry, the cheese slips out.

Make balls of 1/2 ounce of cream cheese for the jalapenos, or 1/4 ounce for habaneros, and put one in each half pepper.

Beat the two eggs in one bowl with the teaspoon of oil and 1/4 teaspoon of the salt. Put the other half teaspoon of salt, the garlic powder, the paprika, and the onion powder in another bowl with the 2/3 cup of flour. Put the crumbs in another bowl.

Coat each popper with egg, then flour, then egg, then flour, then egg, then crumbs.

This all took me a couple hours, but I quadrupled the recipe, so maybe a bit less for you.

You have to freeze them for at least two hours, I'd go with overnight. If they're not frozen, the cheese will leak out when you fry them.

Put them in 350 degree oil for 3 1/2 to 4 minutes, or until they are golden brown and float. If you want to make them for future use, you can deep fry them for 1 1/2 minutes, and then refreeze them. You can fry or bake them later until they're hot (350 degree oil for 3 1/2 minutes or 450 degree oven for 10-15 minutes, turning them half way through).

I find they go quite well with cranberry jelly, which only took a few minutes to make after I finished the prep work on the poppers.

Thanksgiving

2008-12-03T14:56:00.002-07:00

Too late for a Thanksgiving post? Not if you have finals coming up. I'm between a couple of classes now, and have my chem lab final coming up in an hour, so here goes.

Thanksgiving was awesome. It's just a bummer that we couldn't be in more places at once, as I understand my parents had a good time at theirs, but I was already committed to deep frying a turkey. The deep fried turkey was, as everyone says, very moist. I've never had a turkey before where the white meat couldn't have used at least a little cranberry or gravy to keep it from drying out mid chew. I know my mother says she didn't notice a difference between deep fried and traditional, but she eats the dark meat, which is already pretty moist. It's nice that it's done in an hour, too. Also, it's really nice to have a big pot of hot oil on hand for making habanero poppers. They take a while to prepare before frying, and have to freeze as well, but they're worth it, at least occasionally. They go nice with the cranberry jelly too, also freshly made of course. And as long as you've got the deep fryer on hand and a ham to heat up, might as well make a cage out of a couple of wire hangers and throw that in as well. Half an hour later, you have the best ham ever.

So, I was impressed with the fryer, and intend to get one of my own a few years down. It really doesn't make the food greasy or anything as long as the oil is hot enough. Besides, it was just fun. There were plenty of people over. Mostly family, some friends as well. Most of the family was a sorry to hear that Berserk and Valkyrie couldn't make it over (they're very much the more the merrier type), but you can't be everywhere. I still have four poppers we've refrained from eating if I ever manage to get them to you Berserk. Unless you don't want week old poppers, in which case you should let me know, and I'll see to it that they don't see another day. Xkordave wanted the recipe, so I'll have to either type that out and email it to him, or more likely post it here, as soon as I'm at home and not busy with the baby.

Bad Thermite

2008-11-25T23:42:00.001-07:00

So thermite making was a bust. At least the thermite lighting was. I've heard it's a bit hard to get going, but I thought the magnesium ribbon would do it. Looks like I've got to either try when it's a bit warmer out, as the magnesium itself went out a few times, so I imagine the thermite might be a little resistant to lighting, or I've got to find some new method for lighting it. Otherwise, maybe my thermite is the problem. If I do get the problem worked out, I'll have to do a good post. MJ got some good before pictures, but what good is that without some really good after pictures.

The Vincent Black Shadow

2008-11-09T01:55:00.003-07:00

The Vincent Black Shadow is easily one of my favorite bands. It doesn't hurt any that they put on such a good show. MJ and I went to see them tonight, and they didn't disappoint. She even went up on stage after they were done, and got a drumstick for me from the drummer. We got stuff signed by them, and they were just all around cool. Thanks to Samara, by the way, for watching Jack-Jack for us. I'm glad he wasn't too much trouble.

There were a couple of decent bands opening for them too. Nim Vind was the better of the two. The guitarist for TVBS was playing with them, and then the Nim Vind bassist played with TVBS. It was pretty cool. The other cool band was called Creature Feature. They were entertaining, but I didn't get their CD like I did the other two. Berserk, next time I'm over remind me to bring the CDs. I think you'd like hearing them. There was one more band, I think it was the Royal Dead or something. Their instrumental work was awesome. I really liked how they had an actual stand up base. The vocals however were just some of that screaming crap you get in punk and heavy metal sometimes. I'm wondering though, if they sound better recorded.

Anyway, Cassandra Ford was impressive. I loved seeing so much attitude come out of such a small woman, when the scrawny pricks next to us thought they'd be funny, and gave her some crap along the lines of, "take off all your clothes." She just snapped out a quick, "F*** you!" and she and the guitarist went on some little rhyme I don't quite remember which was clever, funny, and put the little punks back in their place.

As usual, it was great spending some time with my wife. It's been too long since we've gone out and done something like this. It was a bit different having the baby at home. This may be the longest he's ever been with a sitter, so it was great that it was one of his favorite aunts (he has two aunts who he prefers over just about anyone else in his extended family).

So, all of you who don't know them already, and are interested in good music (the kind they don't play enough of on the radio) go check out Nim Vind, and The Vincent Black Shadow. I don't think you'll be disappointed.

So I know I'm supposed to be a genius and all, but...

2008-10-23T11:56:00.002-06:00

I can be pretty retarded sometimes. I just walked down to the bus stop last night. That takes 15 minutes. I waited about 17 minutes for the bus, rode it for 13, and got off to head across the parking lot to my car. Then I remember that I left my car downtown today, wait another 17 minutes for the bus to head up to its other stop farther north, turn around, and pick me up for another 13 minute ride downtown. I walk back to campus (another 15), and am back where I started an hour and a half after I tried to go home. Throughout all of this, it's thirty seven degrees out. A half hour drive later in a heated car, and I'm home.

At least I'm not the guy I just walked past in the bathroom who seemed to be either warming or drying his butt with the hand dryer.

Cold Weekend

2008-10-20T01:06:00.002-06:00

The weekend before this one I went on what was maybe my third event with VERT, the group that does the first aid at all these scout events. It was, as the Wizard said, a very cold campout. I slept in a big tent on a cot (I think I've got to get one of those), and I kept warm enough. Strangely, there was not a single patient the whole time I was there. Usually we at least get a few scouts who get too cold, or too dehydrated, or something. It was a good weekend not to have any problems though, as VERT was spread between a couple of different campouts that weekend.

When I got home, and regained cell service, I found that my son had gotten sick. This was the first time he's been really sick, and it has not been fun. There hasn't been much sleep, including the night before my physics midterm when I got about an hour of sleep. Stroke of luck though, the professor didn't have nearly enough tests printed up, so rather than deprive most of the class of their test time while he ran around trying to make more copies, he made it a take home test. Seems I'll be getting a good enough score on that one after all. I was really not too optimistic.

Jack-jack seems to be better now. MJ's been pretty impressive with him too, including totally taking him one night (the one after the test) and letting me sleep on the couch in the other room without complaining that I'm not doing enough. He's still got a nasty diaper rash as a result of the diarrhea which was a result of the antibiotic, but he's got his appetite back, and he's crawling around getting into stuff we don't want him to have.

When blueberry jam is outlawed, only outlaws will eat blueberry jam!

2008-08-28T02:10:00.001-06:00

This vacation was one of my best ever. I'd say it was the best, but it's hard to top a honeymoon in Disney World. The timing may not have been the best (who vacations while living in their parent's/inlaw's basement?), but it was good to see some of MJ's friends out there before they moved. It seems that the four people she talks about most from Maine are moving.

The problem with any vacation anymore, is that it's bookended by a couple of visits from the clowns at TSA. Now, I'm not denying that there's a need for security, but these guys are not it. I've mentioned accidentally getting a knife, or a stash of firecrackers (the fun waterproof ones) and bottle rockets on board, but don't try to take a bottle of blueberry jam on board. Melissa thought it was considered a solid, so wouldn't be subject to the 3 oz. rule, or we would have rolled it up in one of the sleeping bags that we checked. Turns out it's not. I know that the power-starved jackasses who man the security stations aren't the one's who make the policies. They're just doing their jobs, and enjoying it a bit too much, but who decided that the most likely way for a terrorist to sneak weapons and explosives on board was in jars of jam and bottles of shampoo which pass through an x-ray? Furthermore, who decided that terrorists could probably only put them in bottles larger than three oz? If all the explosive blueberry flavor in this jam was split in two smaller jars it would have been safe to handle, and would have passed with no problem. Well, $20 and one more checked bag later everything was okay again. The nation is safe for another day, and I have my delicious treat.

Anyway, the trip. The first couple of days we met up with a few friends in Bar Harbor, and a few more at church the next day. It was fun meeting up with them, but I suspect it was more fun for MJ. I liked the time we spent just hanging out, and seeing her favorite things out there. Like she said, I swam in the ocean for about an hour. It was cold when I first got in, cold enough that it forced me to breathe shallow, but once I was in for a few minutes it was a hoot. This beach had some pretty good waves which really drag you around. It's crazy seeing (and in places really smelling) the difference between high and low tide. In some areas it's pretty drastic, while in others there's not much of a difference. Also, I now have a favorite restaurant in Maine. It's only open seasonally, but Jordan Pond House has got what may be the best food anywhere.

The next couple of days we spent with a couple of friends of hers who live on an island a little farther out than the one Bar Harbor is on. They picked us up on their boat, since they were on mainland anyway, fed us while we were there, gave us a spot to pitch our tent (they would have had us in the house, but they had no furniture as they were about to move), and paid for a trip on the ferry to get back. In return, I helped out for a day on the boat catching lobsters, and we helped them pack up some stuff onto their truck to take back to mainland (On their island, mainland just means the closer island which is connected to the real mainland by a bridge).

I can now claim with reason that I don't like barnacles, and use pirate phrases referencing the dislike of barnacles. I have a few scratches on my forearm from the barnacle buildup on the lobster traps. I have seen things in the ocean that I didn't know about, or had heard of, but not really gotten. Sea cucumbers, for example, are a lot squishier than I thought, and when you squeeze them, water shoots out. We also caught a bunch of crabs which we just threw back, some sand dollars, several hermit crabs (some pretty stinkin' big), starfish, and regular fish. Depending on what kind of fish we caught we either threw them back, or kept them (dead). The ones we kept had some sort of gasses in them, so they swell up after they die. We took the boat around to where there were a few bald eagles to feed them the fish, and watch them swoop, but they weren't too hungry. Seems there was a dead whale on the east beach which had been feeding them for a while.

So, we got back to mainland this morning. At this point I still had eaten no lobster, which we remedied. The only lobster I had ever had was some frozen tails at grandma's house a couple years ago for the fourth of July. Those were bad. This was good. MJ showed me how to break open all the good parts to get the meat out (including the legs), and which parts she doesn't like to eat (the green nasty crap from the main body, and the poo vein running down the tail). Then we drove to Boston to head home. All in all, a very good trip.

Second Week

2008-08-20T19:18:00.001-06:00

It's interesting being back in school, and back downtown again. I have to admit, physics and chemistry are close to kicking my butt, but I think if I buckle down and get a good routine down for studying, then everything will go smoothly. The nice thing about the science classes is that they make all my other classes look like cake by comparison. Nutrition and philosophy may make claims to be real sciences, but they've got nothing on the harder ones.

I'm at the computer lab in the school library right now, and there's a girl a few computers down wearing headphones and singing along to the music on her computer. I don't think she realizes it, but her headphones don't seem to be plugged in all the way, because the sound is definitely coming from the computer speakers. At least it gives her singing some background. Speaking of singing, there's a short, stout guy with a funny haircut who I frequently see singing by the square outside of the library. I think he has some kind of retardation, and he signs while he sings. I wouldn't mind knowing what's going through his head. We do have better music as well. There's been a DJ outside of the student union playing some pretty cool music. I got a CD from him, and it looks like it's got some good mixes on it. I'll have to check it out when I get home.

Also, I think I saw the silver man. He wasn't all silver this time. I tried to get a picture, but it came out all blurry. It's like getting a picture of sasquatch or something. I think he's got some kind of once a week class outside of my Thursday physics lecture. This would also explain why I've seen him poking around my physics room (it's the same room it was last year). Of course, the theory that he's stalking me may still hold. If I see him tomorrow I may have to see if it's really him. But, how does one approach a total stranger and ask if he ever paints his head white, dresses in neck to ankle and wrist silver, puts on his big walk-around-like-a-freak boots, and walks around downtown, like a freak. I mean, if it is him it would be nice to know why, and I'll update you, but if it's not, it may not suffice to just tell him that he looks like someone who does. Although, I guess I don't really need to give him any explanation. It's not like I know him.

Someone just came by and plugged in the girl's headphones the rest of the way. She said thank you, perhaps a bit louder than she meant. I'm going to miss that inspirational gospel crap. Maybe she'll sing along anyway.

In other news, I'll be heading out of town with my wife and son next week. We're taking advantage of the fact that school and half the roads downtown are going to be closing for the big hoopla. We're going to Maine. She knows a few people there so we're camping on someone's property for a while. I'm going lobstering, and eating a lobster. And, we're going to visit a lot of people I don't know while MJ shows me how great a place Maine is to live. I'm looking forward to it.

School's in

2008-08-07T12:55:00.002-06:00

School's starting again this Monday. Due to the DNC we've got two weeks on before fall break. Everything's shutting down for a week, and then we're back. Politics. That aside, I'm looking forward to a few things. I'm in Physics and Chemistry again, but in this chem class we have a lab. A four hour lab. I hope I get to use fire.

There are a couple of things I'm not looking forward to though. Before much longer I won't be having all this time to spend with my son. It's been good staying home with him over the summer, especially since he's so little. Next summer we'll probably be sending him off with his grandma while I work, so the next few days is the last I'll have of this. Less importantly, I won't have the time to get so much done as far as cleaning up this mess and packing things away goes. I've got almost all of that done by now, but things are going to be busier.

I may have a bit more to write about too. Nothing like getting out and seeing all the silver men and everything. We'll see if I can do better than once a month again.

Security

2008-07-08T01:40:00.004-06:00

When packing for a trip, I have to limit deoderant and shampoo bottles to three ounces if I want to keep them as I pass through airport security. The ziplock bag full of firecrackers and bottle rockets in my pocket is cool though. No problem with the fact that I took it out as I walked through the metal detector, and tried briefly to give it to the TSA agent. I have yet to see the pocket knife my mother accidently took to Disney World returned to me. I understand that no security will catch everything, but there's something a little ridiculous about the way TSA attempts to tighten down all these potential threats, yet what do they really catch.

The trip was good though. I didn't light off any fireworks (hence the accidental return with them), but it was good to see everyone. Also, I don't remember there being so many restaraunts in such a small town, but I'm glad Wudan liked the food so much.

Update

2008-07-01T11:23:00.002-06:00

I figure I'm a bit overdue for an updated look, so I switched things around here. I had to redo the skeleton arm to make it match, but I don't mind playing with photoshop a bit.

MJ and I are cleaning up around here today, doing laundrey, and packing for the trip to Nevada for the fourth of July. We'll be leaving one particularly stinky beagle, and one cat-on-the-end-of-being-a-cat-in-heat with my inlaws. They've been warned. Anyway, that's all for now. I've got to get back to cleaning. No one wants to come home to a messy place after vacation.

Contact Juggling

2008-06-28T02:43:00.002-06:00

For anyone who doesn't know, I've done a little bit of juggling, including contact juggling. It's been a while since I've done any of this, but I came across this video, and thought it was pretty cool. I've never been anything like this good, or seen anyone else who was this good. Contact juggling is by far the most difficult to get a feeling for out of all the different ways I've tried. There is something very satisfying though about getting it. It's not just the contact juggling either. Throwing something up into the air and catching it without having to put any thought into it feels like you're moving it with your mind. I think I'll dig out some of my old stuff, and see what I can still do with it.

0 - Long Days

2008-06-19T22:42:00.003-06:00

It's been a long couple of days. It's sort of hard to believe that we're only two days into MJ's work week, and if it seems long for me staying at home, it must seem longer for her. I've been getting some things done around here though. We finished moving all the necessary items in the day we went to the hospital for MJ to deliver Jack-Jack, he's five months old today, and I am just now making progress getting rooms put together. I'd like to be making more progress, but the little guy keeps waking up and wanting to play and eat. He is getting a bit more independant though. Last week I was still getting annoyed that I was home all day and couldn't get anything done, and now I've got two of our three rooms pretty much finalized, and I'm caught up on everyone's blogs and all my email. I find myself pretty wiped out by the time the day's over though, and the mornings aren't any better.

Running seems to help in the morning though. MJ and I have moved on to week two of this program. Berserk can skip this line since I know he runs much better, but I'm proud of myself for moving on to the new week where we run for 90 seconds with 120 second walks to rest between. This is up from 60 second runs with 90 second walks. I was worried about keeping up since week one was still a bit rough, but we're both doing all right. Anyway, I find I'm feeling pretty good right after a run. I feel it later in the day, and the next day, but that's a fair trade off when you push your limits.
____________________________________________________

There. I don't believe anyone was thrown under any sort of vehicle there, and I believe all material presented here was completely original. I again declare myself winner.

1 - What stinks?

2008-06-16T17:49:00.003-06:00

So, I'm sitting here in this room wondering what stinks. I noticed it yesterday and it's not anything I can quite place. It reminds me of the stink from back when I lived in Berserk and Valkyrie's basement. That turned out to be an old can of grease that was sitting on the stove. Seems that when the oven was turned on it acted much like one of those candle warmers, only this was an old-tallow/random-meat-fat scented candle. I don't know what this one is. We had just cleaned out the room when I noticed it. I think I blame the dog, but I can't find any evidence. perhaps it's just time to clean out her crate again. Happy hunting I guess.

2 - Photoshop

2008-06-16T17:39:00.002-06:00

Alright, so I know that this is totally cheap, but yes, I am making three posts in one day. I believe it was a race to make three posts, no timeline was mentioned.

So, the pictures Frik put up were pretty good considering what he was working with, but there's nothing like photoshop. The popcorn was easy enough to smooth out, but the bus load of celebrities took a little work. A couple were missing limbs. I love some of the toys photoshop has for fabricating things that weren't in the piture. I especially like Ice's starry sleeve.

3 - Getting delayed

2008-06-16T16:37:00.002-06:00

About ten days ago I noticed that it had been about a month since I last posted. That's sad even by my standards. Now I'm not only getting comments on it on my blog, but on other blogs as well. I've got to sit down and work on this more.

MJ and I have decided to join Carebear and Frik in their Couch to 5k training. So far we've only got week one finished, and to be honest I think we're both in sad enough shape that we need to give it another go. So, if we can get week one down well enough on week two we'll be on track again. If anyone else is interested MJ and I would both recommend getting the mp3s from www.c25k.com to let you know when to run, and when to walk.

Also, it seems that Jack-Jack is getting into a bit more of a pattern, and is getting a little easier to deal with. It could just be that since school has ended I've spent a lot more time with him, so I'm the one being trained, but I think he's doing better as well. We found a used crib online, and have his room almost all set up at this point. He slept there for most of last night, and today MJ and I have been going through all the baby clothes we have. It seems that we'll be doing pretty well on baby clothes until just after his first birthday. Also, it seems feasable that we'll finally have this mess pretty well under control before MJ's weekend is up. I find that aside from her days off, it's still really difficult to get anything done around here with the baby.

2 more to go.

Happy Anniversary

2008-05-06T01:13:00.002-06:00

Well, it's my anniversary today. At least it was an hour and fourteen minutes ago. Now it's just May sixth. I'll spare everyone the details about what a sweetheart my wife is. I read your comments on her blog, and I can't honestly blame you. I'd leave the same on any of yours.

It was a good time though. She came by school after class got out, we parked the car and walked downtown to the cheesecake factory. She had been before, but hadn't ever had their cheesecake. Even the idea of such a thing is heresy. We remedied that. In her defense, they do have good food, and good portions. We thought we'd be able to eat desert there, but we ended up just taking it home. All in all, a good night.

*Everyone but MJ stop reading here*

I love you honey. Happy anniversary!

*Resume normal blog*

EMT bust

2008-04-27T00:40:00.002-06:00

Well, I passed the test for the NREMT, but things aren't all peachy. Turns out that the form they mail you after you pass the test involves getting signitures from your employer saying that you know your stuff. I don't have an employer. MJ called them up to complain about the 70 bucks we just spent to take a test that has no effect on my renewal and they now say I just need to take a practical exam. This is no small thing though, and would cost another 50 bucks. Also, no one seems to be offering one of these tests until the day after the NREMT wants it by. It's a headache, but I guess that's what you get for putting the department of transportation in charge of anything.

So, I'll be looking for a job this summer. We'd like to get a couple things paid off so MJ can either work part time or not at all as soon as possible. I've applied to be an EMT at the amusement park downtown (I am still state certified), but I haven't heard back from them. MJ heard from someone at her work that theres some job working security at concerts. I'm not sold on this. Maybe I just have it worked up to be something a bit tougher than it is. I can tell you I'm not going to be walking into some mosh pit to pull people apart, but she says if the guy who was telling her about the job can do it, it should be no problem for me. We'll see. If it turns out to be alright I may go with it. There's not a lot of choice.

NREMT

2008-03-11T02:08:00.002-06:00

My certification with the National Registry of EMTs is almost to its expiration date. I'm sure there are good reasons to take care of this earlier. It would be easier, and I'd have other options if I don't pass, but I'm scheduled to take a test this Thursday to see if they still want me. I've been studying up for it for a couple weeks now, but wish me luck anyway, I don't imagine it's an easy one.

This option to test to renew is a new thing they're trying out. Were it not for this, I would have needed to have a fair amount of continuing education on things slightly more EMT related than I've studied lately, as well as some more experience than what I've managed to get working as an EMT. Of course, if I don't pass the test with a high enough score I have the option of doing all of that to stay in, it's just going to be hard to fit that all in before the thirty first.

Aside from that, there hasn't been too much blogworthyness going on. I've been keeping more than busy with trying to finish up moving the last of our stuff, keeping grades up in school (especially in chem and physics), and just helping my wife take care of the baby. Those guys can be a bit of work. I've also been working on a couple of home improvement projects. We have a cat who is rather inclined to climb in the ceiling, and only slightly less likely it seems to fall out through the ceiling. I've been patching up the holes she's been using to get up there, including the one Berserk patched up with a couple of box lids when he was living here. Seems those were no match for a persistent cat, much more athletic than his.

Psych Circus

2008-01-29T13:23:00.000-07:00

In intro-psych today the teacher was talking about sociocultural psychology, and how some things are perfectly normal in some setting (i.e. dancing on the table with a lampshade at one's head at a party) yet absurd in others (doing the same in class). It brought to mind the escaped circus freak with the shiny shiny pants. I saw him again yesterday, walking around campus this time, not downtown. I suppose the direction he was going downtown was towards campus so he is possibly a student here.

No gold stretch pants yesterday though. He was silver from neck to wrist to ankle, head still white, with black around his eyes and trailing back towards his ears with wavy lines. I saw him walking around campus, and then while sitting through physics lecture he walks up to the door and looks in through the window, and it seemed, in my direction. Then, he paced past the two doors for a while. Just as I'm starting to think that I'm halucinating or that the matrix rejects are coming for me, the guys to my right commented on the oddity walking around. During break between the two hours of lecture he came into the room for a minute. I didn't see what business he had, as I just noticed him leaving again.

Anyway, back to psych. I was thinking how this man wouldn't turn any more heads than anyone else as a part of some circus, but wow, what an oddity in real life.

Belated Update

2008-01-23T22:20:00.000-07:00

So, as my brother pointed out, I have not been very good at keeping those in the loop who should really be in the loop. Very sorry, my bad.

I now have a son. He was born on the nineteenth of this month at 11:25 pm, and was 7 pounds, 9.5 ounces, and 21 inches long. I'll put up some pictures as soon as I get them on my computer. I know I saw people with cameras, but I need to track them down. MJ is doing well, recovering from the fun times, and Aidan is learning all sorts of things, like how to eat and poo. Still no stink in the poo, but that's expected shortly. Then I intend to teach him to hold his head up and make cute noises. The only noise he's got down now is crying, but he does that well.

I'm quite proud of the two of them, and would have got this post out much sooner, but I've been hella busy getting furniture moved around, and getting stuff set for school, and adjusting to baby life myself. By the way Berserk, I'll still need some help moving, but it won't be too soon here. I've got to get a little down time, but I'll give you a call after that.

Also, I'm liking being back at school. I like being downtown. It's good to see all the, lets just say unique, people one sees downtown. Yesterday I saw a man with no hair who had his entire head painted white and was wearing metallic stretch pants. That's right, but it was even better than it sounds. It was like the circus just walked past me.

Good Cold Work

2008-01-05T23:55:00.000-07:00

It's been a good week, with a couple of unusual projects. First, I helped a local Venturing crew (co-ed Boy Scouts) provide first aid at a New Year's skating party. It was freakishly cold. This ice skating thing is out in the mountains, and it was pretty cold here in town. I think it was like nine degrees here before you even factor in the windchill. A few of the other adult volunteers were also EMT's, although we operate on a first responder lever in the crew. I think this looks like an okay networking opportunity. We had a few injuries, but nothing too serious. The worst was a cut above someone's eye, the lightest was either one of the band-aids we had to pass out, or the lady who fell and hurt her wrist(not bad enough to even swell at all, but after she came back a second time they wrapped it up to make her happy). It was kind of fun though, being one of the adults in a scouting event which is not church run.

It's not that I have anything against church or scouts separately, it's just that they don't always mix so well. My biggest problem is that troops must be kept separate by ward, and patrols by quorum. This means that I am the scoutmaster of a troop of five boys, but only really in charge of a patrol of three of them. Two of these come regularly. One of those seems to give a crap about it. The one who doesn't come regularly is prone to some pretty immature outbursts should he decide to show, and not find everything to his liking. It's not to say that the two who are less helpful are bad or anything, just green, and it's difficult to get them interested in a program that's not really up to what it should be. And, who's idea was it to make the deacon's quorum president the senior patrol leader? How does senior go along with first year scout?

But that's not the point. The thing is, it was nice to see a group where the members are interested in being there, and participate willingly. Also, it was good that my youngest sister (a member of the crew) was able to keep warm enough out there with the help of my wife's borrowed snow gear. She's out yesterday and today on another trip with the crew. They're providing first aid services for another event. I'm glad that they were able to come by here briefly and pick up the snow gear again, there was some reluctance, so thanks Dad. He was thinking they might have to find something at home, or stop by the store or something, but I doubt they'd get anything quite as good (My wife as a good cold weather coat she used in Maine), or save any time (we really aren't that far away). By the way Mom and Dad, I'm sure she still needs to get some gear of her own if she wants to keep this up, maybe some time when you're not already running late, and maybe at a real store like REI, not Kohls.

That brings me to my other project this week. I wasn't at this winter camp because I was going to spend the day hauling Christmas trees away as a fund raiser for my troop, but that's a bust as no one seems to either have real trees in the town we put up the flyers, or want to pay five bucks to have it taken away. Instead, I helped my father-in-law empty out a huge trailer full of stored crap, sort it, and put it in a big shed. It's amazing how much stuff fits in a trailer, and more amazing that we got it all (aside from a large garbage pile, and a smallish goodwill pile) into the shed. It was nice though, that the sun was out, the wind wasn't too disruptive, and it stayed warmish almost long enough.

There's still more stuff to move around here. The trailer is done, but I've got to find somewhere to put all the crap that's in my brother-in-law's old room. Most of the stuff is his, but some is just general family crap. A pretty good amount belongs to either me or my wife, and that much can go with the rest of our stuff, it's just the family stuff and his stuff that poses a problem. I'm concerned with where all of this will go only because his old room will be my son's new room. My wife is due to pop in about three more weeks if she holds that long. By the way, congratulations to the oldest of my baby sisters who just had her first child, and my first niece. I've got a couple places in mind for the stuff. I just need the official okay from someone so I can't be blamed for anything. I think I'll see about getting that once I move the rest of our stuff out. But, that's a project for next week.

Hmm, A Mystery!

2007-12-21T21:49:00.000-07:00

My comments have vanished. It's traumatic. But seriously, it wasn't that difficult to get to the bottom of. It seems that HaloScan archives comments if you haven't logged on to their website in the last three months, regardless of the fact that you've been using your comments. I logged on, and mystery solved. I should have them showing back up within twenty four hours.

So that was fun. I've also been dealing with various counselors at school, and with my wife's help, I actually found some really helpful ones. I've got myself all signed up for classes for the coming semester. I'll have General Chemistry I, College Physics I, Ethics, and Intro to Psychology. Just the four classes, fifteen credits, because my wife has begged me to take it a little easy this semester as we will be having a child.

For anyone wondering just how much longer I have in school, I think it will be at least two more years. It will take that long just to get through all the science classes (fifteen of them) I need if I want to have a decent MCAT score. I'm not sure just how much longer after that, but there might be a semester or two. Then it's off to medical school. I need to be thinking about where I want to go if CU doesn't work out, and what I would like to specialize in.

By way of movies, I saw and recommend I Am Legend. The previews looked good, but not like something MJ would be able to see just now. Pregnancy hormones are a blast. I saw it with her brother who moved out over the summer. He paid for the last movie we saw, so I owed him. I'll likely rent it after we have the baby so MJ can see it. It might be good to find a copy of the book as well. Apparantly the book's significantly older than the movie, but if it's anything like it it would be worth checking out.

End of Semester

2007-11-29T09:05:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure which one I like better, the beginning or the end of the semester. I like the new books and new classes, and the lack of homework you usually get with the beginning, but I'm looking forward to having a few weeks of break from all of this, and wrapping things up in all my classes. I don't mean to wax nerdy here, but there's something satisfying about having kept grades up all semester, and finishing them off on a high note and setting it in stone.

I've already finished two of my three oral reports, and they both went surprisingly well. It's interesting, but just this last weekend I was speaking in sacrament meeting, and that one went pretty smoothly as well. I think I'm really getting the hang of this public speech thing, not that I'm loving it yet or anything.

I'm not at the end of things yet though. I've still got finals in most of my classes, although none of them are comprehensive, so they're no different than the tests I've been taking all year, and I've got a ten page report that still needs some serious work over this weekend. Good times. Perhaps the best thing about the end of the semester is getting things like this done and behind me.

CD Repair

2007-11-03T21:29:00.000-06:00

CD Repair

Jack-o-Lantern

2007-11-03T15:07:00.001-06:00

I carved a couple new pumpkins this Halloween. I know it's a bit late to throw this up, but here's the better of the two I made. The other one was alright too, but I liked this one. We didn't do much else for Halloween. We tried to watch a movie that night, Poseidon, but it seems that our non-scary Halloween movie was a bit too much for my wife with all her pregnancy. We didn't even get past the first disaster scene, so we played some FFVIII instead. Hope everyone else had a good holiday.

Pictures Galore

2007-10-21T13:37:00.000-06:00

Well, I've got those ultrasound pictures scanned in, as well as a few more. We had to get another ultrasound. This one was a level two, which means it's done in a different place, by a more skilled specialist. Also, it means we got some of those 3D pictures. They didn't turn out too clear, but here's the whole mess of them.

First, the ones from a while back:

And, from the second set:

This one is more from the front, and catches a yawn:

And here's the first of the 3D, the one that turned out the best:

And the other one:

So, it was pretty cool being there for the 3D imaging. You can see a bit more on the screen than you can in these two shots, especially the second one. It all just makes me look forward more to January 23rd.

Look Alike Face Morpher

2007-10-18T16:43:00.000-06:00

I came across this one on one of my friends sites on MySpace. I didn't have (or want to use) a picture of myself, so I used a link to a picture of the Mona Lisa. It found the other one. Try it out, it's a hoot!

It's a boy!

2007-09-25T08:11:00.000-06:00

I'll have pictures of my son up once I've got my computer up and running again. I'm sending this from my in-laws' which has a scanner, but no decent software to do anything with the pictures once I've got them.

So, we went to get an ultrasound. They found all the fingers and arms and stuff, and then they found what looks suspiciously like a penis. We got three pictures this time, and you can see a bit more than in the others.

Other news, we're moving into the in-laws' instead of living in their yard. It turns out that the joy of having your own space just isn't worth living in a camper. It's not bad though. We'll have a couple of rooms once I get the second one a bit more cleared out, and we'll likely have a third once the baby comes. School's going pretty well, even the scary 'get whitey' class, partially because she has been focusing more on actual material, and partially because the other students commiserate. It's a little tough getting everything done, but I'm managing the eighteen credits alright.

Stardust

2007-08-28T17:19:00.001-06:00

MJ and I have been going out on Monday nights, since that and Sunday were the only nights she had off, and even though she has Tuesday nights off as well now, we've been sticking with Monday out of habit. So, yesterday she's looking through the movies to see if there's anything worth seeing, and she calls me over to look at them. Now, here's the awesome part, Stardust was listed. I knew it was coming out, but I didn't know when.

Any other Gaiman fans (Berserk) know how stoked I was about this. It took a little bit of talking MJ into it, but she went along and was not disappointed.

I'd recommend this one to anyone, especially fans. The cast was great, the adaptation was great. Two big freakin' thumbs up!

School's on

2007-08-23T12:39:00.000-06:00

This post is coming from the computer lab at my new school. So far it's going alright. I've figured out some of the bus schedule. It takes almost two hours, including the drive to the bus stop and a short walk from downtown, so I need to get my mp3 player squared away. I've got a pretty tight schedule on Mondays and Wednesdays, leaving me 15 minutes between classes, but today, and Tuesday I've got plenty of time to work over my reading assignments, check email, and look around campus between classes.

Overall, it shouldn't be too bad, but I've got to work out a couple kinks in the routine still, and all this walking with my books is going to take a little getting used to. I know I'm coming here from a couple months at a metal shop, but I'm getting different sore muscles from this. I should be good after a couple of weeks though.

I've got a couple of philosophy classes, and a couple of English classes. One of the philosophy classes is an intro, and the other is about logic and arguing, so watch out. My philosophy teachers are the most unusual teachers I believe I've ever had. I wonder if they are all like that. One of my English classes is an introduction to fiction. That one looked fun. I tried writing a book a while ago, but realized I didn't really know what I was doing.

I've got a class on pre-columbian and colonial meso-america. It's required here that everyone takes one multicultural (non-white) class, and this one seemed like one I might actually take just for the content. The first day included a lot of talk about how bad white people have been, and a little talk of what still needs to be done to fix things. I was hoping to avoid that. This will be my second day, hopefully it will be a bit more about pre-columbian and colonial meso-america, and a bit less about affirmative action, reparations, and African slave trade.

In other news, MJ is doing pretty well as far as this whole pregnancy goes. She's got a different position at work. It involves a little more responsibility, and a little less lifting. Also, it's four ten hour days, instead of five eights. This wasn't just one of those moves they do so you can keep working while you're pregnant either. It's one of those ones that you apply for and hope you get. I'm all kinds of proud of her.

I wish I could say that the morning sickness was gone, but it is at least reduced. There's been some dry heaving this morning, but nothing for a few days before that. She's handling throwing up a lot better than she used to. Still more reasons to be proud.

Baby Pictures

2007-08-02T16:52:00.000-06:00

Everyone meet your new grandchild/niece/nephew/child-of-a-friend.

I took the morning off of work today, to go with MJ to a prenatal checkup. They were hoping we'd be able to hear a heartbeat this time, there wasn't anything to hear on her last visit.
They couldn't find it this time either, so they sent us to the hospital for an ultrasound, resulting in two beautiful pictures of our baby. Nice as these are though, you should have seen the moving picture on the screen. I can see why they have a hard time getting any still shots better than these, but we could see the baby moving around, the heart was beating really fast, and you could see all the ribs, the arms and legs. He/She was all curled up in a little ball, which is likely why we couldn't hear anything.
So, I never made it to work. By the time we were done work was over. I called in and everything, so I should still have a job there for a couple of weeks before school starts. MJ had to call in too. The soonest they could get us in for the ultrasound was 2:00. So, here are the pictures anyway. There's just the one child. Don't be confused by the multiple shots.

2.5 x .25

2007-08-01T20:45:00.000-06:00

Apparently, I haven't mentioned to everyone that I cut steel now, instead of inspecting fire extinguishers. The job usually runs better than the old one, but not so much today. One of the pieces of steel I cut is two and a half inches by a quarter inch. It's far from the heaviest most difficult stuff that I cut, but today it's my least favorite. It's just thin enough to have quite a bit of spring to it, but plenty heavy enough have a little power behind it when it springs back at you. If you grab a twenty foot length of the stuff by the middle, and toss it onto your table, the middle part which you grabbed it by, it seems, is likely to spring back and smack you on it's way down. Without sharing all the gory details, I'll just say that this piece of metal is number one on my list of the worst things I've smacked myself in the nuts with.

That was the morning. Later in the day, I gave myself a nasty blood blister on the palm of my left hand. It's half an inch, by an eighth. As much as that would normally bother me, it pales today.

So, here's to better days, and healthier nuts.

Scout Camp

2007-07-21T19:46:00.000-06:00

I went to scout camp this weekend. I only got Friday off of work, so I wasn't down the whole week. It was interesting. There are two camps we used to go to, this was the one where they do all the work (cooking and the like) for you. It seems that not much has changed. It was weird, but pretty cool seeing the place again. I don't have the patience for the staph's strangeness than I used to. They seemed more annoying, less funny, but I bet that was more due to me changing then them. The boys seemed to get a kick out of them just like I remember.

Oh, in case I didn't tell anyone, they made me Scoutmaster in the ward I'm in now. I don't just hang out with the scouts for the heck of it.

One of the other adult leaders has a pretty cool job, I found out. I had heard others say that he could hack into stuff, and I figured his job involved something nerdy, and he was better with computers than most, but it turns out his job is to hack into places, and then let them know how he got in. I've seen that job in a movie, but I never thought anyone really had it. If only they could incorporate ninjas into it, I'd have the perfect job for my little brother.

He also brought up some potassium. Seems that stuff blows up in water, as long as it's not in it's acid form. Pity I missed it. I don't suppose I could have brought up thermite, and not gotten in trouble for it. I'll have to let most of you know if I get that put together. Mom, I'll let you know after I'm done with it.

Anyway, good to be back home. Next year I might be going up for the whole week. Assuming I'm still in the same ward, and I can get the time off from wherever I'm working by then.

Thermite Anyone?

2007-07-17T19:14:00.000-06:00

So, cutting steel to make trailers is an interesting job. There are a lot of different parts we make in the fab shop, and a couple of good byproducts I want to see if I can get my hands on. The first, is the sawdust from the steel cut off saw. When it comes off of the saw, it looks like fireworks, but it cools to a black dust. It's magnetic, it stinks, and it covers my clothes when I'm done. I believe it's what's known as black or blue iron oxide. It differs from red iron oxide (rust) because it is oxidized at a high temperature.

I don't claim to understand this too well, but I believe that means it's burnt, not just rusty.

The other byproduct is saw dust from the aluminum saws. There's no real heat involved in these, and no oxidation. It's just ordinary aluminum dust.

This is where it gets interesting, and where Berserk may have to stop reading for liability purposes.

Seems that when you mix about a quarter of one with three quarters of the other you get a mixture called thermite. Thermite is used to weld railroad pieces together. When you burn it, you are left with a puddle of molten iron. You can cast this iron into a mold, or burn through things. It will burn a hole through the hood of a car, through the engine block, and out the bottom with only a flowerpot full. It will do more than that if you place the flowerpot over the gas tank.

Now, I don't plan on doing anything so destructive, but ever since I heard of the stuff, I kind of wanted to make it, who wouldn't, and now I find myself working daily with the raw ingredients I need. Also, it seems I can use a sparkler or a matchbook to ignite it as well, so I don't even need the usual magnesium fuse, which might be somewhat difficult to come by.

So, Mom's cautioning aside, anyone have any thoughts on this stuff?

Check out this Wikipedia article on thermite if want to know more about it, or see pictures and videos.

Small Town

2007-07-05T17:05:00.000-06:00

Well, we've got hot water and cold air in our camper. Hot air too, if we choose, but now's not the time for it. We've got to get some sort of control device, not unlike a working thermostat, for it. Currently, we've got a bundle of loose wires sticking out of the wall. If you know which ones to hook up, you've got air. Also, I've got to do something about all this internet I don't have. We either need a wireless repeater, or a better NIC. Probably the former.

The fourth was fun. At least, the couple of days before the fourth were fun. The fourth involved us traveling home, and watching a chick flick which my chick didn't enjoy any more than I did.

Before the fourth, we were in the small town my mother grew up in. A town we're thinking of moving to, in order to get medical school paid for. There might be some extra difficulty in that though, I understand they've got some overdone anti-nepotism policies at the hospital. I have a cousin who had some difficulty getting a job there because she has an aunt who works there too. If I run into any problems though, there are a couple of other areas we're interested in too. Areas with a nicer climate, although fewer relatives. If all else fails, there's always the student loan method.

The stay in Smalltown was pretty good. I took my wife out on a quad, exploring some paths with streams running through them. My youngest sister fell off of hers, cracked her helmet right open, but left her head in one bruised piece. She got a few scrapes, and a slightly damaged ankle too, but nothing too bad.

It was good seeing almost everyone. We've got an aunt I haven't seen in probably a bit more than a decade, and about four corresponding cousins I've never seen. Then there's an uncle who I haven't seen too often, and who I haven't seen quite as little as I'd like. Druncle doesn't seem all too bad at first. A bit full of himself, a bit bossy. A bit like a permanent drunk. The bit that really impressed me was when he decided to share his beer with the baby sitting next to him. Wha?!

I understand most people drink. I'm fine at a family gathering, a party, whatever, where people are drinking. No one has ever tried to push it on me. Druncle here, decided that a kid, not quite a year old I think, should have a drink. This isn't like letting a child of yours, who is curious about your wine, have a sip. This is more like getting the cat drunk to laugh at it. Druncle wasn't doing this with his own children either. As far as I know he doesn't have any. No, the kid in question belonged to the aunt who doesn't regularly come around anyway. Nice way to push her right back out. My sister asked the kid if she wanted her juice, and took her away, to which Druncle said, "oh, here come the missionaries to save you." Leave it to the drunk to get too preachy, and to overestimate their own comedic talent. The guy's always hated Mormons, but my sister's not really trying to push her religion around here.

Druncle tried it again, this time the kid's dad stopped him, told him that was enough. They left. Pissed of course. Hopefully we'll see them again soon. Hopefully Druncle will find himself busy with whatever the hell he does the rest of the year, and won't make it down.

That aside, the trip was good. It was really good to see the rest of the family over there. Next year, we should be able to stay for the holiday as well. There's nothing like a big firework show done by a small town. Hope everyone else's holiday was good.

Intermittent

2007-06-11T11:46:00.000-06:00

Alright, I'm set up here with an internet connection and everything. Problem is, it's intermittent at best. I think the distance between me and the router has something to do with it. The signal has the full length of a double wide to get through, plus the wall of this camper. I've seen and heard of worse starter homes for newly married couples to live in, but this camper thing is not quite as pleasant as MJ seems to think. It turns out though, that living in a camper next to the in-laws is much like living with the in-laws. We frequently go over there for dinner. Especially on Sundays. I grilled some wicked awesome steaks last week, and some wicked awesomer ribs yesterday. They all loved it. It's nice to be appreciated. Besides, anytime someone else is buying the meat, I'll gladly cook and eat it.

We got the house leveled again yesterday. It was level before, but the feet sink a bit in the mud, and it has to be redone. Eventually we should have hot water in here, which should go nicely with the cold water we've already got. Showering out here will be much more pleasant. Usually we go inside for that. We're supposed to have heating and cooling before too long here too. The heater works, and it's possible that the cooler works too, but with the thermostat in it's current state, neither one really do much of anything. We also laid pipe to connect to the septic tank, and are wired in to the house. I've got no complaints about the electricity. That's the one thing we've got down flawless here. The septic is mostly good too. I can't say I'm a big fan of emptying the tank. Eventually, I hope to again live where poo just magically goes away forever, somewhere that doesn't have little trap doors in the bottom of the toilet. I know it seems like science fiction, but I've always liked the cutting edge of technology.

Anyway, it's been educational. I got to use a billy goat (for cutting down tall crap, not the actual goat kind), and ride a tractor lawn mower. Also, there's a pond nearby, and I know more about fly-fishing now than I ever did. I'm still looking forward to the next place we'll live, but things seem to be coming along okay for now.

Wedding Fun

2007-05-13T10:23:00.000-06:00

We're back. WDW was a hoot. You'll have to forgive me for not blogging over the past week, I've been busy. You don't have to forgive my blogging habits from before last week though, I was slightly less busy then. Still, I'll work on it. It's good to be home. I was tired and cranky last night after flying all day, but I'm better now.

Thanks to everyone who travelled in for the big event. It means a lot that you were all able to make it, and it was good to see you. We'll have to all get together some time when I'm not all busy getting married. MJ says she loves you all, and she liked meeting you.

I've seen the outside of the trailer I'll be calling home very shortly here. It's in my new neighbor's backyard just now, and will be in my new backyard once my new neighbor's wife gets her crap out of it. She's had a few days, and more than a couple offers from strong nearby men-folk to help move it all, but she wants to do it herself. Not enough to actually get off her butt and do it herself, though. Who knows though. I hear she'll likely have it done today. I'm not holding my breath, but my next post may likely be coming to you from a camper. I'm still not loving the idea, but I've come to accept it as a temporary solution.

That aside, I'm liking this whole married thing so far. Looking forward to finishing off some debts and looking for a slightly more average housing arrangement.

Rough couple of days

2007-04-24T22:23:00.000-06:00

Work's been a hoot lately. While I love driving all over the city checking fire extinguishers as much as anyone, it hasn't been quite as good lately. There's a new person working in the office. She's not all that bad on a personal level, but it's not so great having someone new over me, telling me what to do. It's worse that she has no idea what it's like doing the job. I've never had an employer question me so much about what I'm doing. She'll ask me how long I thing a job will take, and then ask me if I'm maybe being a bit generous with the time I tell her. She'll ask me if the hours I've put down on my time card take into account that I'm not paid for lunch, and then ask if I'm sure when I tell her I've already excluded that time. It will be nice when either she's gotten used to how things run, or I've moved on to better things. Also, she's decided not to give me all the work orders that I'm supposed to do at once, she'll hold on to them, and just give me what she thinks I'll get done in a day or two. This way she can keep better track of me. Wha?

So, yesterday I was walking down the stairs to the basement in the dark. I noticed the smell of crap. If you ever find yourself walking around in the dark and you smell crap, you should turn on the lights quicker than I did. I next felt a couple of strange lumps on the floor under my sock-clad yet unshod foot. There were four piles in the one room, joined, to my dismay, by five larger piles and a large spot of urine in the next room. All this, done by a single dog while I was off at work. I put her nose in the piles, yelled at her, and she still isn't on friendly terms with me yet.

Today, The ceiling in my room leaked. Never mind that there are two floors above me which don't have leaking ceilings. I've got one. There was water all over one side of my desk. My monitor still has some spots where it got splattered, but at least my computer is dry. That's more than I can say for all the paperwork all over my desk. It gave me a chance to go through it all. I threw away anything that wasn't important, dried a few things that were. It's been a hoot.

Here's hoping that nothing sucks for the next couple of days or so.

New Blog

2007-03-27T19:56:00.000-06:00

I've made the addition of a very nice blog. Okay, it's not very nice yet, but its owner is, and it has potential. MJ has a blog now, much like mine with links to everyone I know. It's just more pink, and doesn't have any DaVinci artwork.

Wedding plans are still going along nicely. I've finalized the engagement picture and announcement, and if I ever get around to getting them off to the printer's, you all will know for sure that we want you here, instead of just having to guess. I'm not really a jerk, I promise. I just am not as punctual as I should be.

I'm making this post from my brother's computer, as I am here watching his dogs, and I have noticed the Home, Insert, End, and Delete keys are not in their correct positions. It's wigging me out a bit. A couple of other keys are malfunctioning as well. I'm not trying to rag on his computer too much, but if anyone has an extra keyboard, and wants to find a good home for it, I know someone who could use it. Just let me know, and I'll make sure he gets it.

That's about it for now. MJ has to get up early for work tomorrow, and I have to get up at a sane hour, although still early, for work tomorrow.

FUBAR

2007-03-01T18:13:00.000-07:00

Okay, I have seen the most amazing tool in the world. It is called a Fubar. I'm sure most of you are familiar with F.U.B.A.R. the acronym, now for the tool. It's something like a crowbar, except on one end it has this spike/jaw/gripping/hammer bit. I'm seeing where they came up with the name. I don't know what exactly one is used for, but I want one. If only I was one of those people with too much money, or if I could only think of a reasonable excuse.

In other news, I got caught behind a train. Not a big train. There were seven cars. Including the engine. I was at the far north end of a small city about an hour north of here. This was the middle of nowhere. I could see the tracks running off into the distance in both directions, and not a crossroad either way. This seven car barricade couldn't seem to find one of those bits to park on, just the few yards of track that I was planning on using. Eventually, the train moved, as they tend to, the gates went up, and traffic moved. It was my turn next, and the gates came down for no reason. I sat there for a bit longer, and the gates went up again.

I thought the whole thing was funny. I'm just glad I wasn't in a hurry, or a bad mood. I don't think I would have caught the humor in it. Really, it's almost too bad that the gates went back up. I almost had my excuse to buy a fubar.

Dog Glasses?

2007-02-27T19:17:00.000-07:00

I didn't know they made glasses for dogs, but someone does. I'm driving along and I see a bulldog-type dog sticking its head out of the window. Then I do a double take. The dog has some rather stylish, lightly tinted glasses. They're not exactly sunglasses, and they're staying on a bulldog with it's head out of the window, so I can only assume that they are prescription glasses made for dogs. Either some people out there just have too much money, or I just don't have enough.

The Vincent Black Shadow

2007-02-25T17:50:00.000-07:00

I can add another one to my concert count now. I recommend The Vincent Black Shadow to anyone. They've got three brothers on drums, guitar, and bass. Then, there's Cassandra Ford on vocals. I've never seen such big sounds come out of such a small person, but she's really what makes the band. I've got the CD, and got it signed by the band. They've got a bit darker sound than most, and for style I'd place them somewhere between early No Doubt, and Garbage. They're still pretty small, but I could see them going somewhere.

I've been working on fire extinguishers for a few weeks now. I really don't like the job some days, but it's going to pay for the honeymoon, Disneyworld, so it can't be all bad. My boss wants me to take an overnight trip some time this week to some of our more distant clients. I can't imagine that they have no better alternative for their extinguisher inspection needs, and I don't understand why he takes jobs that involve four hours of driving before we get there, but he's the boss, and I get paid hourly, so I can't complain too much. I can complain a bit though. Especially when it involves a night away from home in a city I don't know. I'm sure I'll find something to do, but I'd rather be around people who I know.

The plan, professionally, is still to find a job at a hospital as a tech. There are a few snags though. Seems so far that I've got a bit of a knack for starting to study professions which dry up once I've finished getting certified. I think I'll be heading back to school fall semester though. This time with student loans most likely. I can look for medical jobs or volunteer work while I do that to work up some experience. MJ says she's fine working while I'm in school. I'm hoping she can find an alright job, the kind with benefits, good pay, and regular hours. She's currently delivering pizzas, which has none of these.

I think finishing off my bachelors degree should help open a few doors. I'm hoping that once I have a bachelors I'll be able to find one of those programs where a small town pays for you to go to medical school, and then you have to work there for a few years. I know a small town in Nevada that's done this a few times in the past, and there could be otheres. At that point, if I choose to move back to somewhere that has stoplights and more restaurants than I can count on one hand I'll be an experienced doctor.

Tying the Knot

2007-01-09T16:26:00.000-07:00

Yes, the title says it. I'm getting married. While this may not be the biggest news for those who know me personally, it's high time I boast about it a bit here. And as for Wudan watching Oprah, I owe you a bit of an apology for giving you a hard time about it. I haven't sunk that low, but I have watched Dr. Phil already, and I've only been engaged for a short while. I'll hold out as long as I can, but when I inevitably start quoting the show, at least I'll have an old friend to talk to about it.

So, bad television programming aside, here's the bragging. She's MJ, from my previous posts. I've known her for a few years, but we've only been dating since mid-November. She says I crock potted her. I didn't know what it meant, but apparently it means that for a long time I've been a friend, hung around her a bit when she was around, dated some of her friends, and then when she least expects it, I move in. I guess so, but that was never really the plan. In real life I was just a bit scared of her. I liked her, but didn't make any really good moves until recently.

So, about her, she's a lot nicer than some of the girls I've dated lately, she's cute, and she makes me rather happy. Her whole family loves me too, which makes things a bit easier around them. My family seems to like her quite a bit too. Especially my mother.

So, that's the big update my mother has been bothering me to put up.

Dancing Cop

2006-12-25T11:00:00.000-07:00

So, I saw this cop dancing in the middle of the street the other day. By the other day, I mean yesterday, but honestly the days are a bit blurred together right now. I only slept for a few hours, and what sleep I got was about airplane quality sleep. Still, it was a good Christmas Eve, and a good Christmas.

So, about the cop. I don't know if she was just feeling the Christmas spirit, or if directing traffic around minor accidents is just that boring, or if she had a bomb strapped to her waist, and Santa, with the detonator switch, was playing her like a puppet. Whatever the case, I thought right then that I've got to tell someone about it.

I was up north of here, just south of where all the real houses stop and the farm type houses begin, heading home from church. It wasn't my home, or my church. I was spending Christmas Eve with the girl I did the movie/old chicago/stargazing thing with. We'll call her MJ. Her extended family was over, and I was let in on a couple of odd family traditions. They have a toy police car they keep re-gifting to anyone who has recently gotten a ticket or a licence, or an accident. They have a big pile of boxes, each containing a towel. Everyone picks one. The only surprise with these gifts is what color your towel will be. Mine was yellow. There was a big dinner, and I threw her cousin in the snow, with a bit of help from the other family members he had been throwing things at, and then we watched the RM. I don't recommend it. MJ fell asleep right away, I watched the entire thing. While some Mormon movies are really quite good when you consider the budgets they're working with, this one isn't. Oh well, good night anyway.

Apparently MJ got the third degree from all the old ladies at church when they saw us together. I didn't notice. I was talking with a guy up there who gets together with a bunch of people every Saturday, and plays with fake swords. They have banquets and dress in medieval gear. The best thing about this group though, is that it is not the SCA. I might have to check it out this weekend. If anyone in my area is interested, I'm sure he won't mind a couple more people. He's got a ton of fake swords and shields.

Well, I'm off to bed. I'm still pretty tired, and she'll be coming over for Christmas dinner with my family later today. I guess Berserk and Valkyrie can meet her. I hear they'll be coming over too.

Snowboarding

2006-12-17T03:50:00.000-07:00

I've lived in Utah and Colorado all my life, or at least all my life that I actually remember, and I've never gone skiing or snowboarding. Until today. It's strange, but every part of me hurts. Also, I totally sucked. For the whole first third of the mountain I was basically sliding on my butt more than I was standing on the board. I thought I wasn't going to get the hang of it. Thankfully, I went with someone who has had a little experience teaching others to snowboard, and a little more experience snowboarding himself. He had a few pointers, and I was looking like I was snowboarding on purpose before I got too far down the mountain.

Still, it's amazing how much snowboarding hurts. It was mostly in the feet. There was a lot of leaning towards my toes, which they didn't mind at first, but it's kind of like the feeling when your climbing shoes are way too tight, and are cutting off the circulation, or the bizarrely strong muscle fatigue you feel in your feet when ice skating, or rollerblading. I think it's because I unconsciously clench my toes to try to hold on a bit better. It can't just be the shoes, because I once felt the same thing while riding a segway. It's a strange vehicle, one that I recommend trying out if you get a chance, and you stand on it wearing your regular shoes. My feet were killing me by the time I got off, not much more than ten minutes after I got on. Also, the rented boots were plenty comfortable when I was not attached to the snowboard.

Well, that's all that hurt then, but everything hurts now. Maybe it was all the falling and pushing myself up. Maybe it was some unconscious clenching. I don't know.

If anyone is thinking of trying this out, I recommend going with a friend who can tell you what you're doing wrong, grabbing a can of Lysol to kill the mildew stink in your rented boots, and wearing not just snow pants and goggles (and yes, regular clothes), but a coat, and some good gloves. I got snow in the rudest of places, sneaking in down the back of my pants, and you do not want to fall into a big deep bank of powder with nothing good between your long sleeve shirt and your crappy small gloves. The good part is, once your skin gets numb it doesn't hurt anymore.

All that aside, I really didn't get too cold, and it was a blast. I've got to go again some time when I have some more of that green paper stuff in my wallet.

I know a giraffe has to pee too, but...

2006-12-12T01:38:00.000-07:00

I finished the last of my tests for the last of my classes for a while. The plan at this point (seeing as I'm an EMT-Basic, and I've got the IV and EKG down, and I've finished all of my paramedic prerequisites) is to actually get a job doing something that I've gone to school and trained to do. This is something I've never actually done. I've applied at one of the big hospitals in town. They're well known for getting a lot of the trauma cases around here. I'm hoping that goes well, but not hoping so hard that I'm not still looking for other places to apply.

Also, I went to the zoo with a bunch of people from church tonight. We went primarily to see the Christmas lights that have been set up, but I saw so much more than that. Until now, my best zoo story has been about the time I went to Anchorage, and saw an elephant poop. They were big, and they made a thud when they hit. And then the elephant peed, and it came out all at once in a torrent of urine. That was my best story. Now, it's the giraffes.

The big draw in the zoo this time of year, and this time of night is the lights they've got set up, but they still have some of the indoor attractions open. This year, the giraffes were included. Now, when a giraffe pees it's not like an elephant. It's more the way I, or any guy, pees. It's just a big stream. Bigger in this case, and certainly higher. People stop and take notice. The good part though, is a second giraffe bent down, and started drinking the pee midstream. It was like a big nasty drinking fountain. I know urine is fairly clean, having just been filtered out of the bloodstream and all, but still, I rarely ever (never) drink urine myself. The second giraffe drank a bit, stood up, drank a bit more. Of course the whole crowd seeing this was totally mature, and didn't erupt in disgust. Or, it did. Either way.

Christmas Parade

2006-12-03T00:10:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I went downtown with this girl for a Christmas parade. She was just a bit difficult. For someone with absolutely no sense of direction, who doesn't have a driver's license or learners permit, and who certainly doesn't understand downtown traffic, she sure has a lot of advice on how to drive. I thought I was going to kill someone. I wasn't quite sure who, but there were only two of us to choose from.

Once we got down there it was better. I've noticed advice on driving from her before, but this was nuts. Anyway, it was better once we were out of the car. We had a couple of blocks to walk to get to the parade, and we met some people there. Not people I know, just people. They were pretty cool though, and the parade was not bad. We got there just before the people who fling torches and burning things went by. Anything with fire is obviously the highlight.

We all went out to dinner afterwards. I recommend Buffalo Wild Wings to anyone. I don't recommend the boneless wings, as the breading is to thick, but aside from that, good place. I wasn't sure what this girl was going to eat. She's a bit of a vegan. At least she has been in the past. I'm hoping that was an experiment that's at it's end. She looks like someone who could use a hamburger or two. The whole vegan thing seems to be waning for her though, unless hot wings are allowed. It was good to see her eating a couple though. I've been to enough pot luck dinners where I watched her eat plain salad with no dressing.

Overall, it was a good night. Met some new people who seem alright, hung out with a couple that I knew.

Also, I've decided I like Blogger beta. Getting the little bit of artwork up there helped turn me. I wasn't sure for a while that I could totally get behind this. It seemed a bit too cookie cutter. I love Photoshop and Leonardo da Vinci. Good combination.

Beta

2006-12-02T03:32:00.000-07:00

I've done a bit of work on the site here as you may have noticed. I thought it was about time to rework things a bit. That was over three hours ago. I logged in to blogger to have a shot at updating the template, and was pleased to find that the whole Google/Blogger combination thing was coming together a bit more. I can now log in to blogger using my Google login. Also they've done some serious spiffing up of the template making thingey. I used to know bigger words, but they all seem to be escaping me just now.

Anyway, I thought I'd give it a shot. In case anyone else is using blogger and decides to go for the update, you should know that the new Google login bit seems to work just fine, but the template is still in beta. Fortunately, you can go back to the classic template at any time. You can't go back to the classic login, but I'm not so sure I'll miss that.

The new template thing seems okay as long as you intend to put out a generic run of the mill blog. You can edit colors, or put in a picture somewhere, but if you want to write your own HTML you better stick with classic. The new one uses XML, and gives no shortage of warnings when you try to put in a bit of html code. At least it gives me no shortage of warnings. I don't know much about XML. I'm pretty sure it's supposed to work harmoniously with HTML, but I don't know how to do that.

The most frustrating thing, the thing I spent most of my time trying to fix was the commenting. It set me up with Blogger commenting and I couldn't get Haloscan up and running. I managed to find someone who did though. If anyone wants to get Haloscan commenting running on their New and Improved Blogger, this *http://logicalphilosopher.blogspot.com/2006/09/getting-haloscan-to-work-in-beta.html* is the man to see about it. I assume it's a man. I really don't know. Whatever it is, it's a genius.

I didn't spend the whole three hours working that out of course. I spent the bulk of that chatting with a sister who is in town for the evening. I only spent a bit over an hour working on this site.

Anyway, all that said, I'm going to bed. It's freakin' late.

Choir Boy

2006-11-19T09:24:00.000-07:00

So, I failed to show for the choir performance we've been practicing for at church for the past several weeks. Rather, I declined to show. I have nothing against singing in choir, and the songs we've been practicing were coming along quite well despite the best efforts of our choir director. Really, I hadn't been planning on going for a while now, but I went to the choir practices anyway just to support everyone else's efforts. There's this girl who I like who was in town this weekend, and we made plans. I wasn't about to blow off a first date with her to support the choir, I mean I love hymns as much if not more than the next guy, but I think I'd have to have stupid stamped across my forehead before I blew this girl off.

We've talked before, so I already knew we got along well enough. It was cool how we didn't seem to run out of things to talk about. Before heading out to the movie, I told her I needed to stop by my brother's house to let out his dogs, and asked her if she minded. She didn't. I asked her if she was okay with big dogs. She was. She came in with me, and helped me with the dogs. She was pretty good with them. They listened to me much better than they listened to her, but they know me better. Also, after I unlocked and opened her door for her she always tried to reach over and unlock my door. I say try because the lock stuck once, and she had trouble finding it the first time. I know it's a small thing, but it's nice to see someone helping you out where they can. Myex wouldn't unlock the door if I asked. Anyway, this post isn't about her. We headed off to the theater after that.

We saw Stranger than Fiction, which I highly recommend. It was deeper and more moving than anything Will Ferrell has ever been in. I know that's not exactly a big feat, but it was deeper and more moving than several things Will Ferrell has never been in, too. I didn't break down and cry at any of the more moving parts, but I had one picked out where I figured other sappier people might cry. I certainly wasn't choking back anything. I'm tough and all that.

Interesting note about this girl, she jumps/flinches/grabs/etc. at anything slightly gory/tense/frightening/whatever. If any of you have seen this movie, you know how little there is to really jump about. It's a bit weird, but in a date this works out to my advantage. My hand hurt a bit after one of the more tense parts, but all in all, not bad. We hit Old Chicago afterwards, and then headed up to her (her parent's) house, which is way out in nowhere. As it turns out, nowhere is the perfect place to check out the stars, and if it's a cold night that's even better. There were several shooting stars. It was a nice night. After that we watched cartoons and movies that she had on her DVR, and talked a lot. She laughs a lot, which of course goes to my head. I must be a comic genius or something. I think that's what drunk people feel like most of the time. Also, when she laughs she snorts. All the time. I always thought it was awesome. I'm not sure why, but it's just funny, and very her.

So, that was the night. Then I headed over to Berserk's house to let his dogs out to pee again, and reheated the leftover Italian nachos from Old Chicago. I'll likely be a bit late to church today, as I am writing this, but not too late. I'm also on caffeine now, more than I am on sleep. I'll have to take care of that tonight.

Cadaver Lab

2006-11-07T23:14:00.000-07:00

Cadaver lab was interesting. Most of the things I saw were things I already knew, but it was cool to see them in three dimensions, and in more detail than any model. The lab itself was interesting. Not much more than a half hour away from my house there is a mall. Just next to the mall there is a smallish shopping center with a couple buildings divided into several suites between them. One suite, nestled between two normal open to the public stores has no front door. If you drive around to the alley in the back, there is a rear entrance. Inside are a few rows of desks, some chalkboards and anatomy charts covering the walls, and in the corner next to the restroom, a number of tables, some with metal covers and some with large zipped up bags. Once class begins the desks are stacked and the tables are spread out to fill the room. There were six cadavers, four male and two female, and each one about eighty some-odd years old. Each one was in a different state of disassembly. The longer they've had a cadaver at the lab, the deeper they cut into it. The chest is big and empty with all of the organs removed.

One of the cadavers, a female, had ovaries the size of small oranges. For any readers not too familiar with ovaries, they are supposed to be about a twentieth of that size. They were full of cysts. I got to hold a cyst. It was about the size and shape of a rather large marble, just a bit more irregular, and not clear, shiny, or sparkly. It was pretty hard and heavy.

Another one, this one male, had most of the digestive organs removed and on display on a separate table. Still in his cavity however, was his esophagus, and the end of his colon. We were looking at the colon, and noticed several small round hard objects embedded in the tissue. They looked like big peppercorns, or like the bullets from a shotgun. I thought maybe he had taken a shot from a shotgun to his abdomen, recovered, and lived with the shot unremoved. That may sound a bit far fetched, but Myex's grandmother went through just that, and she's still kicking around today. Still, I was wrong. Apparently that's what colon cancer looks like. Specifically, those were colon polyps. Remind me not to get that. I don't need peppercorns in my bum.

There was another guy, who had served in WWII. Well, either that or there was another guy who liked tattoos that said he served in WWII. I suspect not the latter. He was likely a smoker, not just because of the fact that he was a young man in the army many many years ago when smoking was seen as less of a hazard than we see it as today. Also, not just because of the hole in his trachea. Also, not just because of the black, although otherwise healthy size and shaped lungs. Mostly it was a combination of all these things.

His lungs/heart/esophagus/diaphragm/tongue were all removed but otherwise in one piece. You could look down the throat, behind the tongue and epiglottis, and see the vocal cords. Last time I had a view like that I was doing an endotracheal intubation on a plastic model. It was the same general thing, but better to see what the real thing looks like.

Last thing I thing I should mention here is the exposed bone. I've always liked the
skeleton, and there was no shortage of it here. On some, with the internal organs removed you could see the bodies of the vertebrae forming the vertebral column, and the inside of the ribcage and pelvis. One had the back of the spine exposed, and much of the vertebrae broken away exposing the spinal cord (from the front, this guy had a cut open heart with a pacemaker). The best bones though were the arm and leg with all skin and muscle cut away leaving nothing but bone and the connective tissue that holds everything in it's shape. It seemed a little odd holding a thigh bone, and sticking my finger in the hole it came out of, but at the same time, you get a better picture of how things fit together, and how things move than you do even with one of those classroom skeletons. Maybe I just need to go to a bigger better college with a bigger better budget, but I have yet to see a classroom skeleton where the bones are actually held right where they should be to articulate with the bone next to them. Things are always kind of wired, or hanging in the approximate place sometimes twisting around, but at the lab parts fit together and moved normally.

Anyway, all that said, I can say with confidence that I do not want this guy's job. Todd, the man who runs the lab, is an odd man, with some odd philosophy he can't help but share. Something about how people aren't sensitive enough to strangers, and how the body parts all know when something is wrong with their neighboring parts. Things like that. Nothing too odd, just odd that he had to share. He seems like a good kind of man though, to have this job. He spends all sorts of crazy hours with his dissections trying to expose nerves and organs without damaging anything. I could see myself running an autopsy where you open them up, solve a puzzle, and call it a day, but spending the kind of hours this guy does on a dissection is another thing entirely. Also, by the end of three hours there I had inhaled enough formaldehyde that I seemed to smell it everywhere. And it wasn't entirely in my head. Even through the latex, my hands had the smell of it, and it wouldn't wash out. Not the sort of life I would want, doing this day in and day out. I wouldn't mind running a dissection or two though, and as for a three hour lab, I'd recommend that to anyone interested in anatomy.

The Asylum

2006-10-31T00:07:00.000-07:00

I went to my first haunted house tonight. It was great fun. I was smiling and laughing so hard that the back of my head and my temples were ridiculously sore. It took a good few minutes until that went down, and I can still feel the tension in those muscles now. This thing didn't look all that impressive from the outside. Just a few tents set up in the parking lot of this arcade, but it was a lot bigger on the inside. There were five of us all together in this thing. Most of the scares were due to people stepping out in front of you, or chasing you with chainsaws. I don't believe I heard the word "Boo" once though. The overall atmosphere was rather creepy though, and certainly helps put you in a jumpy mood. This is something I may have to do every year.

We played a few games at the arcade afterwards. I played some game where you're a cop, running through places shooting things, but this was one of those ones where you actually have to duck and dodge, and the thing can tell how you moved. It was pretty impressive. Made my quads freakishly sore though. I must be some kind of wuss. We all played a little Dance Dance Revolution too. It's a lot more fun going to an arcade when your not with a bunch of people who are afraid of making fools of themselves, like I have in the past. Everyone here tried and liked DDR, and a couple of us were not too bad at it.

In school today we had another test. Good fun. This one was on all the muscles and joints, and the bones of the lower limbs. Notice I referred to quads up above. That's just how much I'm learning here. The test went alright. I like showing up early on test days. There's a good crowd there studying a few things last minute. Seeing how I rarely study, I think it was a good thing. I think I did okay on the test too. I'm hoping for an A of course, but tests in these classes are not too easy. I haven't been able to break 91% in this class.

Anyway, that's about it for now. I've got a cadaver lab this weekend, so I'll have to let you all know how that goes. Also, I'm looking forward to heading out to Utah over Thanksgiving. I'm planning on playing some DDR with an old friend out there. Should be a hoot.

A&P

2006-10-11T16:17:00.000-06:00

School's going pretty well. I like the tests that I've in my anatomy classes lately. They are a bit more hands on than most tests. They're lab based, or half written half lab. We get to walk around and look at bones or hearts or cats, identify parts with pins in them, and explain what they do. It's not that I mind the usual multiple choice, but these are a nice change.

I've got a potential job lead with the whole EMT thing. It seems I know a guy from church who works at Boulder County Fire. From what I understand, an EMT over there has more in common with a chauffeur than he has in common with a paramedic, but experience is experience, and I need some experience on paper to start paramedic classes. They work three twelve hour shifts a week. It may make my schedule a bit tight, but shouldn't be too much of a difficulty, especially if I can study between calls at work.

Well, I'd hate to speculate any further about this job. Something about counting chickens before they hatch.

Bad cars and dead cats

2006-09-28T17:14:00.000-06:00

My car is pretty bad. It's had progressively worse trouble starting lately. I thought this was due to a failing starter, but after replacing the starter I'm still getting nothing. I've got a couple ideas to work on though. Hopefully something will work out with the monster.

I may have the worst car in the household, but if you include those in the family who have moved out, I only have the second worse vehicle. Berserk and Valkyrie's van had some trouble today, and by trouble, I mean it's mobile in the same way that a mobile home is mobile. I've pushed cars that didn't work before, but this thing is a beast. It seems to be something electrical, and my car fixing skills being what they are, I just drove Valkyrie and the kids where they were going. We did manage to push the car a bit, so it isn't sticking out into the street anymore, but that's all we managed.

In other news, school went well today. I cut up more cat. That's always a hoot. We found all of the blood vessels we were looking for without too much difficulty. When they do all of the preserving of these laboratory raised cats they inject the veins with blue latex, and the arteries with red. It's supposed to make them easy to find, but when they injected ours they seem to have had some major spilling out of the right carotid, so most of the arteries were just kind of fleshy colored, and not so easy to find. Still not too bad, but we had to get the instructor to let us know if we had a few of them correctly.

On and interesting side note regarding the cat, one of my lab partners keeps on trying to name the thing, but she always gives it dog's names. If anyone has any good names for a dead cat, let me know.

EMT Job Hunt

2006-09-07T11:45:00.000-06:00

I completed the IV clinical last friday. I started ten IVs successfully that day for a lifetime total of twelve, and I failed four of them. I'm not too down about the ones that I missed though, the tech who I was following around tried them too, and also missed them. As soon as I got the eighth for the day (to meet the required total of ten) the tech I was following had to switch jobs with someone else so he could sit at the front desk for a while. He had some pretty intense lower back pain going on.

Things were boring for a little while, until I got sent around with a new tech. The new guy seemed much more into his job, and less angry at life altogether. It could have something to do with a lack of back pain. I started a couple more IVs under the new guy, he had some good pointers, and said that I was the best IV student he's seen. Very smooth and confident.

Anyway, as of two days ago I am officialy IV certified. Now I get to start on the whole get a job thing. Assuming the job hunt goes well enough I should be able to start paramedic school next fall semester.

Threats?

2006-07-31T12:40:00.000-06:00

Okay, I don't want to keep anyone on the edge of their seat any longer. By the way, everyone's advice helped me sort out my own thoughts. Anyway, I had a bit of a talk with Myex last night, and I told her that I don't want to give things another try now. I told her that I didn't think she was lying to me, but that I didn't think she really knows what she wants.

She took that about as well as I thought she would. She got a bit angry/sad, and didn't want to talk much more. Then she sent text-messages to the demon tree girl. Not polite ones. Impressively, DT girl was not at all shaken or disturbed. She says she's had people hate her before and has learned not to take it personally.

I hope Myex cools down a bit. I suspect she will when this doesn't really have any effect. She has always been a bit big on the drama. Right now, I'm just enjoying the freedom of being unattached. I know I've been sans-girlfriend for a while now, but it hasn't really felt like it until now.

Old Things and New Things

2006-07-27T15:38:00.000-06:00

I opened the envelope containing my Colorado EMT certification last weekend. It was good news. I was worried that it would be a notice saying that I forgot to sign or include some part of the application. That wouldn't be so great. I've got to get my IV clinicals set up soon or it will be too late, and I'll have to retake the class in order to get the IV add on to my certification. I tried to contact my teacher about that yesterday. I went down to the school, but he wasn't there. I left a voicemail, but I don't want to leave this all up to him for too long here. I'm on a deadline.

Things with the girl I was dating haven't been going so well. I think it's a little funny that I never could come up with a suitable alias for her here. I'll say one thing for her though, she's not boring. When things were going well with her they went really well. But, when things were going poorly they were painful. They're going poorly now.

She hasn't been my girlfriend for over a month, but we've still been hanging out with each other, more lately that when we first broke up. We've gone on a couple of dates, out to a movie, or lunch. For a long time I've been coming to terms with the fact that she didn't love me. I had even gotten used to it. Now though, she tells me that she really did. She was afraid to say it before.

I know it sounds like that would be a good thing, but what prompted all of this is that I started seeing someone else. I've only been on the one date with this new girl. My ex even told me I should. It made sense to me, since that was what we had decided when we broke up, but now she's not taking it so well.

I don't know what to think about this all. I loved her, I guess I still do in a different way, but I had gotten used to the fact that I needed to find someone else. I like this new girl to. She's a good nine years older than Myex, and about nine years more mature. She's got her problems and issues that she's working through of course, but to be honest I like that she's not perfect. I like that she's nice, and that she seems like a more normal person, less maintenance. I don't want to just drop things with her and try to fix things up with Myex. I'm not saying we've got a whole big relationship going here, seeing how we only ever really went out the once, but there's certainly a strong interest.

Anyway, that's about enough of that. Too much drama all at once probably causes ulcers in your stomach and upper intestine. So, on a happier note, I know were a weird tree is that looks like a demon. I used to just say troll, or goblin, but was really freakin' scary last night. It's always back-lit by the city lights over the horizon, and there was the weirdest lightings storm ever. Lots of really bright flashes, with no sound. Anyway, this new girl thought the tree was as awesome as I did. I didn't drive past it later that night when I was going home though. It freaked me out too much. I've seen it once before but never during the day. I kind of want to, but I think that might ruin it for me. If any of you are interested, let me know I can show you where it is.

NREMT

2006-07-12T21:28:00.000-06:00

For anyone who I have forgotten to tell, I am nationally registered as an EMT-B. State certification is pending. I'm hoping that that comes through a bit quicker than the first one did.

After that, I need to talk with my teachers and get set up for my IV clinicals to get that EMT-B changed to an EMT-B-IV. That is, assuming I get word back from the state before the deadline lapses for the IV class. I can also start looking for jobs once I've got the state certification.

Things fall apart

2006-06-11T23:11:00.000-06:00

It's not like things don't ever happen, it's just that I don't write much. I'm still waiting to hear back on that last EMT test. I got a letter from them, but it was just a notice that I missed a line I was supposed to sign. I've taken care of that now.

The big thing going on now is with this girl I've been seeing. I say big, not good, although I think it's probably going to be good. She's been out of town for the last three weeks. She was visiting some friends. When I say friends, I mean her ex-fiance's family. He's off in Korea with the army. He cut things off with her a couple of months before we started seeing each other, and they had been apart for about half a year before that. She didn't take it very well.

I thought that she was pretty well over him. She told me that she was at one point. But, she's not as over him as she or I thought. I've known this for a while. I just didn't know what to do.

I told her the week before last Monday, while she was gone, that she had to figure out what she wanted. I was okay with giving it a shot if she would decide that she was done with him, but otherwise, I seem to be wasting my time. I'm not going to wait around until he comes back so she can see for herself if there is still anything there.

I was planning on giving her until she got back in town at the end of that week. I figure she should have a decision then, and if she didn't, then I had her decision. She got back to me on Thursday, and said she would be staying another week. I wasn't thrilled, I wanted resolution, but she said she had done some thinking.

What I got out of the conversation is that we're not really dating anymore. At least not in a boyfriend/girlfriend way. She wants to still see each other somewhat, but she's not ready to give up on her ex yet. She also said that she wants me to go for it if there is an opportunity with anyone else. She doesn't want me to miss anything because of her.

The week is over, she got home the night before last, and I still haven't seen her much. I ran into her at church, but we didn't say much. We still talk almost every night on the phone, but not for long, and not really about anything. I still want to make sure I've got all of this straight, and we're in agreement on it all, but I'm pretty sure I've got it.

So, that's it. Maybe we'll try this again some time later, but I honestly don't believe that we will. I know relationships take work, but it just seemed to take too much work, and it usually seemed like I was the only one who cared about it.

So, I guess here's to moving on, and I'll keep you all updated on whatever comes up next.

Utah

2006-05-19T13:30:00.000-06:00

I did well on that test. Totally killed it. I took the second one though, and am a bit worried about it. Not too much, but still. I think I only need a 70% to pass it, and I didn't score less than 91% on any of the tests in the EMT class. There were a lot of questions though where it seemed there was plenty of room to argue between answers. I just hope I picked the ones they like best. The thing that really bothers me is that we don't get results back for 3-4 weeks. It seems that a test graded by computer should be graded a bit quicker than that. But, I guess there's really nothing I can do about that.

Other news, I'm going to Utah in a few hours. Always fun. Good people, good food. It's a short trip, I should be back Sunday about noon, but it's going to be good to see some friends there. Maybe do something to keep my mind off of the test results for a while too.

One Week

2006-05-08T22:13:00.000-06:00

So, my girlfriend is out of town for the next week. It's not like she's too far away or anything, just up north where she goes to school, but she's staying up there at nights. There's an all day for a week summer class she's taking. By wednesday she will be taking her midterm, and her final is on saturday. Good fun. I'm not sure what the class is exactly, some forensic science thing. I wouldn't mind taking something like that, but it would be a bit outside of my current professional goals.

Speaking of which, my class is over and I am awaiting the first of two tests I need to take in order to get certified to work. I guess this is a pretty good week for her to be out of town. It gives me more opportunity to focus on my studying for the test. To be honest, I rarely study much for anything. It's not just laziness, it just seems irrelevant most of the time. I didn't study for my final, and got a 92.5. I could have put a lot of effort into it and gotten maybe a 97, but other things came up and I didn't really make it a priority. This test is a bit different though. It's all hands on, rotating through six stations. If you miss a key step on any station you fail the station. Also, if you miss too many normal steps at a station you fail the station. You can retake up to three stations one time, but if you miss any of those, or miss more than three stations the first time around, you have to retake the whole test at a different test location. Also, it costs about a hundred bucks each time you take it.

So, while I'm not usually too worried about tests, I think I should study up for this one. maybe just a bit.

That's about all I've got going on for now. That and a pain stabbing through the left side of my head from the temple back. I think I need to take some pills and get some sleep or something.

EMT part Deux

2006-04-13T17:45:00.000-06:00

Okay, I missed a couple of things from that last post. Forgive me. I have since had almost two hours of sleep, and four hours of school.

First, don't eat too much meat and drink too little water. Gout is a bitch.

Second, if you remember that time when you were on your bike, and hit something smallish and racked yourself, remember also that you don't want to do this on a motorcycle. You will rupture a testicle. Good news is they try to repair it before they try to remove it, so you won't have to worry about running out of there half cocked.

Also, being old sucks. Bedsores suck. Stinking wounds suck. Sagging flesh sucks. Unexplained protrusions of flesh from one's abdomen suck.

And finally, being homeless sucks. Going to detox sucks. And, trying to kill a child, being arrested, strapped face down naked by the arms and legs to a gurney, and being rotated over onto your back while yelling obscene things at me and the nurses about sucking something or other really sucks. But then you probably deserve that last one and I don't feel sorry for you nearly as much as I feel sorry for the police officer who has to sit around outside your boring room while you sleep whatever it is off. Also, you pissed yourself.

EMT

2006-04-13T08:03:00.000-06:00

So, I went on my second clinical today. For anyone who doesn't know, a clinical is like a one man field trip. We are scheduled at least two of them, one on an ambulance and one in an ER. The purpose is to get five patient contacts, with vitals and a narrative. My first clinical was on an ambulance, and I got four contacts. None of the calls were very urgent. The most impressive one was a guy who swallowed the tab off of a pop can. Not inhaled, just swallowed. Also, there was a kid with one of those bad croup coughs. The other two were sick with nothing in particular.

This clinical was in an ER, and I got one patient contact. One documented patient contact anyway. To start off with we were quite busy. Once things calmed down a bit it seems almost everyone was either discharged or sent upstairs. There were a few people left, all of which were sleeping (it was about 03:00). With two of them, I knew what they were in for and had helped treat them. One of them I got documented before they left. I should have started with the other one, but I didn't know she was about to be discharged, while the one I was documenting was still there when I left. It doesn't really matter too much though I guess. I got my five necessary patient contacts so I'm pretty much good.

I saw a lot of things tonight. I put EKG pads on few people, two of which were old women. I helped turn a combative patient over, along with two EMTs, a couple of police officers, and some hospital security. I helped with bloodwork and patient transport. I helped a nurse put a tube up a womans nose and into her stomach so we could force feed her some activated charcoal to absorb some of the vallium she had swallowed. Her arms were in restraints, but she didn't really resist anymore after she was restrained. I helped put a catheter into a woman who was unconcious. I'm not sure why she was there. The common opinion among the nurses seemed to be that she was a drama queen, but that seems a bit cold and illogical to me.

The first I saw of her she was hyperventilating. Her roommate had found her not well and brought her in. I'm not sure at what point she started hyperventilating, but she looked panicked. After she was done with that she became apneic (not breathing). Then she went to breathing normally. A sternum scrub did not wake her. Smelling salts did not wake her. Pushing a catheter into her urethra did not wake her. If that's just drama, I'm impressed by her determination to stick with it. Eventually she woke up and wanted to go to the bathroom so we took the catheter out and walked her down the hall. She was able to walk back by herself, and then she crashed on the bed again. I found that one to be a bit disturbing, especially since while she was hyperventilating all I saw was her eyes, and with the makeup she had on her eyes looked just like my girlfriends. It startled me until I noticed that her ears were pierced differently.

The valium OD was a bit disturbing too, but I saw her the next morning and she seemed pretty much better. She was still waiting a psych checkup, but her husband was there waiting with her. She got married last night, and her father didn't approve of her marrying a mexican. I think that she will be fine though.

Anyway, that was my day. It has now been about twenty one hours since I slept, and four hours until I have to be to school. I am thinking I will not sleep between now and then, but I'm not sure. I might get ready and have a bit of a nap just before I head out.

Two Months to the Day...

2006-03-06T10:21:00.000-07:00

Two months to the day since my last post. I've got to work on that. It's really not that nothing is going on in my life. On the contrary, my life has been ridiculously complicated lately. I haven't made time to write anything here. I've barely even made time to do my laundry and brush my teeth.

I'm halfway through the semester, give or take a week, and school is going great. I'm loving the classes, and I'm doing quite well in them. I have a slight ever present fear of failing once I get into the field, but that's probably a good healthy thing, given the fact that I will be working with human lives.

Aside from school, life is going well. Well enough. I've got a girlfriend. Things are more serious with her than they have ever been with anyone before. We've been seeing each other since January 28th. We went out on our one month, we went rock climbing and she took me out for dinner on my birthday, and I took her out for a nice dinner on valentines day. Valentines day was a first for both of us. That's one holiday that really is a lot better with someone to spend it with it turns out.

Problem is, she's possessed.

A friend of hers gave her a super-poseable Gollum action figure because of this. She's got a totally sweet side, but then she's got the whole evil thing going for her too. I'm never really sure who I'm going to get. It makes her a little tough to deal with sometimes although overall I'd say she's worth the trouble.

She's got her reasons I'm sure. I know her last relationship ended badly. Really badly, as in a fiance joined the army and told her he met someone else. All this after dating for over a year, off and on a bit from what I understand. I guess I'd have a bit of trouble getting close to people after that, but that bastard really hurt her, and he sure left things complicated for me. I halfway hope he gets himself killed out there, but I think that even after all this time she would take that pretty hard.

Well, that's the last couple of months summed up. We'll see how things go from here.

No Work Today...

2006-01-06T07:48:00.000-07:00

I called in to work this morning, like they have me doing lately, to see if they needed me. Turns out they didn't. That makes exactly one week with no work. That's always a nice thing when you asked for it, but when it just happens it's not really so great. At least I don’t need to go in Monday to turn in one of those pesky sheets with my hours written down so I can get paid. I mean it's such a drag to get paychecks. Not that a paycheck would be overwhelmingly huge these days. My last week I had eighteen hours to put down, and the one before that I had twelve. I never did plan on staying here as long as I have, but this kind of drives home how much I don't want to be in this business.

I think I'm adding computers to the list of businesses I don't want to be in. I don't have any great dislike for them, but when I started working on that career path I thought that it would be easy, easy to get into and lucrative. It seems that while they are relatively easy to work with the business is not easy to get into, and once in, it's not lucrative. I could probably get in okay if I took a load of classes on other computer things, try to broaden a bit. I've got the CISCO networking stuff, and the A+ hardware stuff down alright, but that's not enough given the job market.

Thing is, I'm not so sure I ever really cared about this job field that much, I just thought it would be the next logical step. So, the current job selection is EMT. That's right, an ambulance guy. Beats being a fire alarm guy. The initials for ambulance guy are much less offensive. Besides, I understand this is a good career for deciding if you could hack it in the medical field. One semester of college is a lot less than four years plus med school, so the initial investment is reasonable too. Besides, I think I might actually like this job for what it is and there are other things that this can lead to. I've been reading up on it, and a lot of paramedics go on to other jobs in the medical field, like physical therapy, or nursing. And it seems that these things pay more than I would have guessed. I'd like to say that that isn't really important to me, that I'm doing it just to help people, but when you don't have money and you have to live with your parents, money gets a bit more important. Well, that ought to be enough post for one month. Course, I'm a month behind, but maybe I'll get another one up here while it's still January.

Nasty Rotten Food

2005-11-28T22:54:00.000-07:00

So I was at work today. I found myself far away from the office, and in a part of town that, at night anyway, serves as the red light district. I've seen men muttering as they walk along that street, yelling at someone in their minds. It was about lunch time, and there didn't even seem to be any crappy restaurants nearby. This street is reputed to have good Mexican food, but I guess that was not in this area. Fortunately, the library we were testing the fire alarms at had an attached eatery. Unfortunately it was a coffee shop. Fortunately they served sandwiches. Unfortunately they were all the pre-made variety made famous by gas stations. Fortunately these sandwiches were made by Udi's, a brand I had heard of and liked. Unfortunately the sandwich I bought expired just before the Thanksgiving weekend. Fortunately the expiration date was clearly marked on the label. Unfortunately the clearly marked expiration date had been covered with white out by un unsavory counter clerk. Fortunately I noticed the date anyway. Unfortunately I had already eaten half of the sandwich.

You would think the flavor would have been a tip off, or the bit of a smell that isn't normally present in a sandwich. I guess I was pretty hungry, or stupidly trusting. After some spitting I walked back over to the coffee shop, and got my money back. After some slight vomiting I returned to work, and after returning home I reported them to the department of health. Bastards.

On a more appetizing note, Thanksgiving was great. I saw some people, family and friends, played some football, ate great food, and the next day I hunted down other people and shot them. I got shot too a bit. Paintball is a pretty cool game. I'd try it again. Really it was great to see my brother my sister and her husband in Utah. It was great to see some old friends up there too. I've been thinking again about moving out there. This time I've been thinking more of SLC than Provo/Orem. It really depends on where I can find work. Also in consideration are Reno, Las Vegas, and Denver. I do know a few people in Salt Lake though. And I would like to see them on a more regular basis. Also, I kind of dig the culture there. Utah isn't really a bad place, despite it's reputation. I wouldn't mind seeing if I can get used to it again.

Test Results

2005-11-14T20:00:00.000-07:00

If you learn nothing else from my blog, learn that I post infrequently, and that when I say I'll get back to you when I get the test results, I mean eventually I will. At least it turns out that way. I'm in Mensa now. I'll be going to my first Mensa thing tomorrow. It involves a new pizza place in town that is going to have to be tried out. Mostly this one is just a big get to know everyone thing. I'm looking forward to it.

In other news, my job is going well enough. I got home two hours late today, seeing as how they had me driving to a city way to the south of here, and then had me stay down there picking up a few things until a snow/rain/fog storm and rush hour traffic hit. I can't complain too much. I've been getting off early quite a bit recently. Still, I'm thinking I need to move on to something else. I can't see any future working for a fire safety company. It's good temp work, but the idea of getting old here makes me sick. The problem is, I'm not sure what else I should be doing. By not sure, I mean I have no idea. I went to school for a variety of computer/tech topics, but I only ever wanted that because I thought it would be easy money. Turns out that's what everyone thought, so now it isn't. I'm sure I could be quite successful with it anyway, but it would take a lot of time and work, and if I'd be happier with something else I don't really have that time to waste. That's no reason to stay where I am, but I can't be logical all of the time.

I'm sort of hoping to make some interesting contacts with Mensa. Maybe someone there has had similar problems and has worked through them successfully. Here's hoping.

The big one

2005-10-22T08:10:00.000-06:00

So, today's the big day. I'm heading out in a bit to take the Mensa test. I'm not normally nervous about tests, especially IQ sort of tests, but they don't accept pretty good on this, they want top two percent. I should have no problem relaxing about this though, it's not like anything really matters here. There are no scholarships or jobs that I know of based on Mensa membership. Still, It's something I've been wanting to do for as long as I can remember. I'll probably have another post on this later today or early tomorrow, with the results. Unless it takes some time to get the results back.

That's not all that's going on today. October 22nd, 2005 must have some kind of otherworldly attraction, making all people want to host an event right now. There's just too much going on today. My nephew is having a birthday party today. I'm still not sure if I'll be able to make it, but it would be cool.

That's not one of the biggest events, they get bigger.

There's a church superevent. Some big all day activity. By all day I just mean from 8:30am to 11:30pm. They've got a bunch of speakers and probably lunch. After this, I'm sure they'll break for dinner and then begin the dance. I like church dances okay, which is not to say that I like them. Mostly I just like the loud music and the bright lights, when they have lights, and seeing a bunch of people. I've never been much for dancing. I like the concept, but I fail miserably in the actual practice. Also, the music at these things is somewhat of a gamble. The last one I went to was mostly rock and electronica. It was great. But, a lot of the time they focus more on the R&B side of dance music. Detestable. Also, that's usually not such a good fit for a church dance, but since when were standards and common sense such good buddies. Anyway, this dance is a bit different from most of them. There is supposed to be some sort of dance instruction bit before the dance. They are going to try to teach us to dance. I think that could be very good. The thing that I hate so much about trying to dance is that all people ever tell you is that you can't do it wrong, there are no rules. That's a load. Everything has rules, and I've seen it done so wrong. Besides, whenever I try what these people tell me to do they tell me it's wrong. Freakin' liars. I think I'm fairly adept at moving along to the rhythm of a song, but having some actual steps to follow would be a lot prettier than randomly thrashing around. Besides, chicks dig it.

That's still not quite all.

The dude I've been working with this last week is a character. He's seriously into biking, and his bike "club". I've been to his biker bar a few times. It's kind of cool and all, just not so much a place I think I'd want to go alone at night. I don't think I'd get hurt, mugged, or whatever, but I don't think they take kindly to strangers in their bar. Also, some of the guys I've seen there are into a lot more heavy biker "clubs". They do seem like cool enough guys, but I wouldn't want to mess with them. Anyway, starting at this bar is one of two big bike runs they have per year. This is the graveyard run. It involves riding from graveyard to graveyard downtown, finding graves of people who have been killed by the state for being werewolves, vampires, and witches. Along the way you collect playing cards, and there's some kind of contest involved with those. Then, everyone meets back at the what the hell saloon, and then from there they go back to their various club-houses and have some huge parties. The Halloween party at this guys clubhouse reportedly runs until dawn. From what I understand there is likely to be beer, strippers, and pot at this party. I was invited to the run and the party, but I've got this test when the run is going, and to be honest, the party sounds like just a bit much for an old Mormon boy like me. My nephew's birthday party is probably more my speed. Cake, ice cream, presents, and it's over. I can probably handle all of that.

Anyway, big day. I'm not even doing half of that. I was thinking I'll probably come back home after the test. Hang out at the birthday party for a while. It won't be all that long anyway. Then, unless something better comes up I'll probably head off to wherever the Mormon thing is, see some friends there, and try out this dancing thing. Maybe meet some new people, but realistically, that doesn't seem to be how I meet people. The Mensa bit should be good for that though, assuming I'm in. Well, here goes. Wish me luck and all.

Mensa

2005-10-08T15:33:00.000-06:00

It seems that mensa is having some national testing day again. I've wanted to test for mensa for a while now, but last time they had one of these testing days, the testing locations were on the other side of the state. Colorado, not one of those little eastern states. This time around there is a testing location about half an hour away. I still need to call and register with them, but if all goes well I should have some good news.

Still now new job, but I've started to put more effort into looking again. I've also thought about finding something closer and less demanding for the interim, but I don't think I really want to add another one to the list for no good reason. And, the job may be physically demanding but that's not without it's good points either. I might change my mind about that though. It's a lot easier to like my job when I'm not right about to head back for another week.

This one's a bit of a short post, but I should have some more good stuff before the month is out.

Waiting

2005-09-25T13:34:00.000-06:00

Just an update while I wait. I was supposed to hear back about the job in Utah some time this weekend. I guess I shouldn't expect much puncuality after the mix up on interview times. I can't complain too much about that though. I got a copule days off from work out of it. I have mixed feelings about going to Utah, but I really hate the job I have. I hate living at home when I think I should be done with all of that now. I hate being out of school with only an associates degree to show for it. I just hate where my life is right now, and I don't really see a lot of other options.

I'm definetly going to miss people here if I go. It sucks that my brother just got back in town and I'm suddenly trying to get out. I had some tenative plans in my head for things we could do. It's just been good seeing him and his whole family again. I don't even mind having to move all of my crap upstairs anymore. I'm as settled here as I ever was down in my old room, which is to say I can either have a cleared off floor, or a cleared off bed, but never both. I'll miss a bunch of the people at church too. That one might be a little tougher, since the odds are that if I leave now I'll never see any of them again. If I could I would just move the job and school that I've been looking into in Utah over to here. Not have to leave anything or anyone. But I guess that's not usually how things work out. Life sucks and then you die.

There are people I won't miss, and a few who I would be happy to never see again. And, although I don't hate work every day, and there are a few people there who I enjoy seeing when I show up, there's not a damn thing I'll really miss about that place. Most Sunday nights I just sit up late for a while dreading going to sleep because I know that as soon as I do the whole thing is going to start over again. Even if I don't get the Utah job I know I'm not going to last much longer at this place. I can't stop thinking of ways to get out gracefully. It just seems somehow wrong to flat out quit. I shouldn't worry about it too much. I'll get out of there sooner or later.

Anticipating a response after this last interview is killing me though. I just hate waiting for some stranger to call or email me to let me know how my life is going to turn out.

Utah?

2005-08-21T02:54:00.000-06:00

This month is not going as I had hoped. I've sort of given up on the whole novel bit. Temporarily anyway. I wrote for about one day so far this month, and I just didn't seem to have the motivation to go on with it. At least, not with all the other stuff I've got going on right now. What with work, and looking for new work, and doing stuff for church. I'm a bit disappointed with the situation, but I'm thinking maybe I'll try this mess again in October. October is a more fitting month for the mood of this book anyway.

My sister got married this month. The reception was good, I assume the ceremony was good. I can't say anything about the open house, that was today in Utah, and I'm in Colorado. I should have gone. I could have made some arrangement to drive down there while everyone else flies, but it seemed kind of pointless to drive all day, hang out for a bit, mostly with people I don't know, just to sleep and drive all day to get back. I should have gone though. There are a few people up there who I know, and like quite a bit, who were unable to come out here for the reception. I talked with them on the phone a bit today, but that's not really the same thing. It's not like I had better things to do today, mostly I just screwed around, watching TV and wishing I had something good to do. Pathetic. A man my age should be able to figure out something plenty good to do.

If I did go though, I wouldn't have been able to drive my friend Jane (not her real name) around all day after work yesterday. She is having car problems, and I suspect is not real happy with her life. Her temp job ends in a bit over a month, and she's thinking of moving to Utah to stay with some friend out there. I personally can't see myself moving somewhere for no reason. Not right now anyway. I just can't see anyone doing that unless they think they can get away from something. I've talked with Jane a bit about it though, and she seems pretty confidant that this is what she wants, so she really should go. I just wish I had something I wanted to do that badly. I feel like I'm just rotting away not going anywhere. I am going to miss her though. Last night driving around I was really able to open up to her as we were talking.

I don't open up and talk to anyone in real life. That was the problem with the last girl I was dating. I don't believe I've mentioned her here. It was after Jade, and after the thing that never really got going with Alice. Alice by the way is married now. Same wedding date as my sister, and the guy she married is an awesome guy. The two of them are going to be great together. This other girl though, I really liked. I don't know that I loved her, or anyone for that matter, but we would talk a bit, nothing serious. I hung out with her and her family a lot. I like her family, dad's a bit off though. I actually hung out with her and a bunch of her friends at her place for quite a while before we started dating. Thing is though, I never initiated anything with her. No hand holding, no hugging. If anything was to be going on it was only because she started it, and I went along with it. She found it frustrating, and told me so, and I agreed, but I never did anything about it. She kind of ended things after that, just like she started them. We still hang out sometimes and claim to be friends, and still I think she's great and all, but it still seems a bit awkward.

Anyway, I told all of this to Jane, and a bunch of other stuff. She just asked the right questions, and pushed just hard enough. Speaking of pushing, she pushed just a bit too hard with her foot on my windshield. Just a note to anyone out there, if you have a crack in your windshield do not for any reason put your foot on it. It takes surprisingly little pressure to make the crack into a much bigger crack. No shards of broken glass or anything, and it's an old VW beetle, so I can't really be too mad about the damage. I know she didn't mean to, and I've got holes in the seal around the windshield where the rain and snow blow in, and the thing stinks permanently like gasoline inside anyway. If I had a real job I'd get a new car. I could probably afford one okay with my current job, but I still don't want to think of repairing and inspecting fire extinguishers as my real job. It's good honest work and all, but what the hell did I go to school for it this is going to be my life. I should be better than all of this. I should be a lot of things.

I guess I just need to grow some balls. I need to figure out what I want from life, and I need to get out there and take it. Could you believe I still don't really know what I want to be when I grow up, and I'm about as grown as I am ever likely to get, baring some freak radiation which should kill me but instead gives me super powers. I've got to get me some of them.

I'm just not as sure as I used to be about the whole computer networking thing. There is just a huge problem with the supply and demand of IT professionals here. And as one of my teachers put it, computers are lifeless and you've really got to do something for your soul. She really wanted me to become some kind of artist. If I had no need for money I might have done that. Instead I chose the highly lucrative computer field, and I've still got no money to speak of.

I think that's what I hate most of all. All throughout school, things just seemed to be falling into place. The classes that I needed were always available, I ended up just falling into a degree and a heap of certifications. Things lined up effortlessly. I thought maybe it was because This was exactly what I was supposed to be doing with my life, and I thought that God was helping me make something of myself. It all just seemed to fall together too perfectly to be coincidence. Now, I don't know what to think. If God was helping me, why did he help me into this. What am I supposed to do now, and where am I supposed to go.

This is why I'm a bit jealous of Jane here. She has no more direction in life than me if you look at the facts, and what each of us have, but she manages to pull it out of thin air. She's all excited to drive her and her stuff all out to Utah, move in with a friend, and start looking for work. She is really loving this, loving life, and loving people. I can hardly tolerate any of those, and I don't know where or how she gets any of this.

Anyway, this post is about long enough, and it's got to be like two in one month now, so that's about my limit. I must have gone over everything in my life by now. I'll probably make a new entry next month.

Novel

2005-07-26T01:28:00.000-06:00

I'm still working at the fire safety place. I don't hate it there, but there's no future, and I don't like it there. I am of course grateful for the opportunity to work, and more grateful for the money, but this isn't where I saw my life.

I'm still looking for a job related to my degree. Something with computer networking, or room to potentially advance would be nice, but I'm thinking I screwed up somewhere along the line. I know I sacrificed doing something I like for something that will make money, I figured I would then have time and leisure to do the things I like, but it turns out I'm not making money. I wish I were an artist, or a counselor, some kind of scientist, or an astronaut cowboy for all it matters. I'm twenty five, living with my family, looking at a career that I don't have, and don't think I'm supposed to have, and trying to scratch out a few options.

Maybe that's part of why I'm trying this new novelling thing. I know it's fairly unlikely that I'm going to make it big as an author. There's not likely a lot of money in this one, but it's something I've wanted to do, that I've tried to get going a couple of times. This time I have one month. There's this national novel writing month thing in November. I'm going to do it in August. The goal is to have a story written out, 50,000 words in length, in one month. It's a rough draft really, but that's a great deal better than I've done so far. I may not be blogging much in August, but then what else is new.

I know when I write here I make it sound like I hate my life. Really I don't, but at times I do, and writing about it seems to help. Hopefully In a little more than a month I'll have a new entry here bragging about a newly written manuscript. I'd like to throw in some good things once in a while for you.

Job

2005-06-28T17:32:00.000-06:00

I got a job, not the purposeful kind, just the kind you have when you have nothing better to do. It involves a lot of waiting. In between waiting I push a button and read a line to a guy over a radio. Then I wait. I'm glad to have the work, but it's not where I pictured my life after college. I'm still working on finding a job, but at least now I'm not unemployed, I'm underemployed.

I got a girlfriend too. This one lasted more than a week, which is a new record. I'm quite happy with that. She wasn't even crazy or unstable or anything. We don't date anymore. Apparently women like to feel wanted and appreciated. They don't like to have to make all of the moves. They like a guy who takes some initiative. I don't do that so much. It seems that I have a couple more issues than I knew. We're still friends and all. I'm going over there with some other friends to watch some movies tonight. I'm glad things turned out so well, because she really is an awesome girl, and we were pretty good friends beforehand.

I still miss going to school. I liked having something worthwhile to do. I liked thinking that my life was going somewhere soon, like things were about to really take off. I wish I could still believe that, but maybe it will be easier once I've got a more solid career type job. My father tells me that I should be looking for the type of job where you sit there and answer phones, and try to troubleshoot for people. That's not too bad I guess, it would be more relevant to my education than what I'm doing now working with fire extinguishers and alarm systems, but I thought I would be able to do better than that with the certifications and degree I hold. My future brother in law does that kind of work without any completed college.

That, sums up the entire month. I seriously hope I'll be posting again early July with great news of great jobs and crap. Until then.

Graduated

2005-05-16T01:59:00.000-06:00

I graduated, and it turns out that school was the only thing that gave my life any purpose.

It also turns out that I made some of the worst possible choices with my education.

Seems an associates degree in computer information systems should be able to get me a $12 an hour job around here. This whole computer thing that I thought would always be in demand is over supplied.

I was worth $12 when I started this stuff a couple of years ago, I was worth $12 five years before that when I got out of high school. I'm worth $12 now, and I've got myself a few thousand in debt.

If I get a bachelor's degree, some company might give a shit about me.

If I had gone to a different school, I could get a bachelor's degree at that school, but this one only offers associate's degrees.

If I had gone with intent to transfer, I could have taken some classes that fucking transfer, but I went with the intent to get a degree, and now I have one where most of the classes do not transfer.

Some colleges, like the University of Northern Colorado, will accept the whole degree as a transfer of 60 credits. That is, they'll take some degrees. They don't take an Associate of Applied Science.

I worked at a nice restaraunt in high school, the kind with waiters, and a bar, and everything. It was good money for a high school job. Once I graduated I got a job with a desk and a computer, a job you dress up nicely for. It was the kind of job that pays for your school, if you go. I didn't go.

The company started to have a few problems. They stopped paying for college, but I wasn't going anyway. I had moved out into a nice apartment and was still enjoying life, but really thinking I wasn't doing enough.

I started taking some classes at the local community college. It went for about a year. I liked it, but at the rate I was going it would have taken me five more years to get a two year degree so I moved back in with my parents, left my job, and started going to school full time.

Two years later I'm done.

I'm twenty five years old, and no better than I was seven years ago. Meanwhile my younger brothers and sisters are all in decent schools at decent times, and my older brother is a cop, just like he always wanted to be.

I still don't know what I want to be, what I want to do, or how I'm supposed to get there.

It's too late now to admit that I'm not a huge fan of computers. I know a pretty good amount about them. They usually do what I tell them. I used to think that that would be good enough, that I could make plenty of money off of that, and that I could use that money to do things that I actually cared about.

I am such a dumbass, and I hate my life. I would give anything to go back to when I was about halfway through high school, and have a redo. I don't see any more options from this point. Without being able to transfer most of my credits it's got to take me like, at least three more years to get a bachelor's degree.

I don't want to live here like this for that long. I don't want to be a burden on my parents. I don't want to be some pathetic jackass living in his parent's basement. I can't respect that guy, and I don't know how anyone else could.

Paquin Danes

2005-04-19T17:42:00.000-06:00

Holy Crap!

I just realized that Anna Paquin is not Claire Danes. I thought that was Danes in X-Men, or in Darkness. The resemblance is uncanny.

I'm just about done with school here too. I don't really let things sink in, and I don't get exited about them, until they happen, and are solid. This, however, is starting to materialize. I worry though about what is coming next. I know I want to make some money, and I know I want to keep studying forever, but I don't know the best way to make that happen. The simplest would be to stay here and search for a job. Once I have one I could move out of the basement and investigate schools. There are some friends of mine who are moving to Las Vegas, and I have thought about going out there. I know someone there I could stay with for a while until things stabilize. Once I have residency, one year after I get a Nevada driver's license, I could go to a big school like UNLV. Or, I could join the military. I scored in the 99th percentile on my ASVAB(general knowledge), and I got a 133 on my DLAB (language aptitude), which is quite good. A score of 100 would be good enough to qualify to study any language they offer. With the scores, and the college credits I already have, I would be looking at a pretty large bonus, and advanced starting rank. I would go in as a linguist, going to school in California for a couple of years. That would earn me another associates degree. After that I'd owe three years to the Army, working wherever they want me to.

I don't like the fact that I would be leaving everyone I know, or that I would not be able to leave until they let me, but the rest of it sounds amazing. On the other hand, the other two opportunities are great too, and they don't require the loss of freedom. I wish I could figure this one out.