Sunday, June 11, 2006

Things fall apart

It's not like things don't ever happen, it's just that I don't write much. I'm still waiting to hear back on that last EMT test. I got a letter from them, but it was just a notice that I missed a line I was supposed to sign. I've taken care of that now.

The big thing going on now is with this girl I've been seeing. I say big, not good, although I think it's probably going to be good. She's been out of town for the last three weeks. She was visiting some friends. When I say friends, I mean her ex-fiance's family. He's off in Korea with the army. He cut things off with her a couple of months before we started seeing each other, and they had been apart for about half a year before that. She didn't take it very well.

I thought that she was pretty well over him. She told me that she was at one point. But, she's not as over him as she or I thought. I've known this for a while. I just didn't know what to do.

I told her the week before last Monday, while she was gone, that she had to figure out what she wanted. I was okay with giving it a shot if she would decide that she was done with him, but otherwise, I seem to be wasting my time. I'm not going to wait around until he comes back so she can see for herself if there is still anything there.

I was planning on giving her until she got back in town at the end of that week. I figure she should have a decision then, and if she didn't, then I had her decision. She got back to me on Thursday, and said she would be staying another week. I wasn't thrilled, I wanted resolution, but she said she had done some thinking.

What I got out of the conversation is that we're not really dating anymore. At least not in a boyfriend/girlfriend way. She wants to still see each other somewhat, but she's not ready to give up on her ex yet. She also said that she wants me to go for it if there is an opportunity with anyone else. She doesn't want me to miss anything because of her.

The week is over, she got home the night before last, and I still haven't seen her much. I ran into her at church, but we didn't say much. We still talk almost every night on the phone, but not for long, and not really about anything. I still want to make sure I've got all of this straight, and we're in agreement on it all, but I'm pretty sure I've got it.

So, that's it. Maybe we'll try this again some time later, but I honestly don't believe that we will. I know relationships take work, but it just seemed to take too much work, and it usually seemed like I was the only one who cared about it.

So, I guess here's to moving on, and I'll keep you all updated on whatever comes up next.